Yo, outta the way, princess.
*stops short*
Oh, sorry. thought ya was the Princess.
*shrugs*
All ya high elves look alike.
*strides past, heading for the keep*
*gasps and shoots her Wystro's Daggers of Death Stare (tm)*
How dare you?! Have you absolutely gone blind with madness?! I am Lady Anaris Astyrhim! Saga's Premier Illusionist! I do NOT look like any other Koada'dal! Just look at this robe! This hair! The finest!
*stares incredulously at the perpetrator*
Inconceivable!
Jasyn! Fetch me that gnome with the magic spectacles! Somebody here needs their vision restored!
*huffs and flips her hair*
/me bolts upright and slowly puts down his mug.
Uh oh. Anaris? Heh. Oh. Um...
/me fidgets and swivels away from the bar.
Yeah. The gnome with the magic spectacles?
/me looks for the nearest gnomish pirate.
Ain't ya just described, like, half the population of the Baubbleshire or somethin'?
/me notices Lyrima and attempts to divert attention away from himself.
Oh! Howdy Lyrima! Good to see ya!
/me evaluates his options for an exit strategy.
*eyes Jasyn up and down*
Lyrima? Is that its name?
*turns to Lyrima*
Well, Miss Lyrima, take back what you have incorrectly said or I will find you a gnomish magic spectacle so you can see better before you decide to knock someone over while entering the tavern and on top of that dare to say that I look like my other brethren! The nerve!
*turns away, then turns back again*
And may I remind you, spectacles aren't very attractive when worn in public! Not that I would know, I mean, I have perfect vision naturally, but I've seen others wearing them! Quite awful actually!
*looks at Lyryma's cuticles*
Oh my, not nearly as awful as those... Pray tell, darling, have you had a manicure lately?.......or ever?
*stares in shock*
*returns Anaris' stare a moment*
Wha..?
*turns to Jasyn* Yo! How ya doin' Jasyn?
*swings back to Anaris with a determined smile*
Yo! *thrusts out hand to be shaken* I'm Lyrima Vakhar, Ranger of 40 ranks in the Tunarian Alliance 'n a Vet of Saga. *determined smile relaxes into a truly warm grin*
Good to meetcha, Anaris!
*allows her hand to dangle a moment*
*green eyes shift to Jasyn before quickly returning to Anaris*
*closes eyes, allowing her head to lower a moment while she laughs a moment*
Aight. This here's what'cha do.
*takes Anaris' lovely, dainty, perfectly manicured hand into her own battle roughened, hang nailed hand*
*shakes vigorously*
Quince watches from the bar and chuckles softly. Seeing a perfect opportunity, he pulls a small jar out from below the counter.
"Heyya, Lyrima! Just the person I was looking for! I have a new batch of cookies here, and the only person around was Anaris. I know *she* wouldn't be interested in testing them for me, so looks like you get the honor!"
Solerei *pops her head in*
Did someone say cookies? *pointy ears perky*
*sees Anaris*
Heyla, Master Q, did ya get a new bar wench?
Barely suppressing a bout of giggles, Quince replies to Solerei:
"Why yes! Ana, please take some cookies over to Sol, won't you dear?"
*looks around to everyone from Jasyn, to Lyrima, who's now shaking her hands, then back to Quince, and Sol, then back to Jasyn and Lyrima*
What.... HAS EVERYONE GONE MAD!???
*nervously and quickly smiles at Lyrima* Yes yes, darling, pleased to meet you as well... Indeed, we will do something about the calluses, I've the perfect trea... QUINCE! I HEARD THAT!!!
*glares at Quince and summons her Personae Fabiana*
Fabiana? Did you hear what he said?! I go away on a spa retreat and come back to find a tavern gone mad! He's asking me to serve someone! The nerve! ooooh....cookies......
*a look of glaze overcomes the High Elf as Quince slowly waves the cookie jar in front of her*
*kicks her boots up on the table*
Any chance of getting any of those? And...just a bit of advice...if ya go wth a little lower cleavage on the dress, ye'll probably get better tips outta Jas and Tal. Flann's likely to just drool, na matter.
*slight whine* Master Q, the new girl's slow!
Enjoying this far too much, Quince falls off the bartender's stool and rolls on the floor, giggling.
*looks down at her hands, a small frown between her black brows*
I don't see nuthin wrong with my hands.
*holds them up, palm out, to Jasyn*
D'ya?
*looks at them again, pondering*
Cookies?
Mmm. Cookies!
*swipes jar from Quince*
I love ya's cookies, Quincy! *stuffs handful into her mouth*
Wan thome, Thol?
*grabs a second handful before passing the jar to Solerei*
*double takes at Anaris' soulful expression*
*swallows*
Yah, they're that good. Want some?
*generously holds out a palmful of cookies, green eyes straying to Sol's ownership of the jar*
Quick, 'cause she eats 'em fast. *pushes cookies at Anaris*
/me snatches a cookie, dunks it into his ale mug and munches.
Mmm MMM! Better grab some, Anaris. They're goin' fast. S'good down home gypsy bakin', ya know. Hey. Seeakin' of gypsies... ya ought'ta see all the Flutterfoots that've been comin' to visit the tavern since ya's been gone on ya's spa retreat or whatever. I think they all musta come to meet ya 'n stuff.
/me takes another bite from his cookie and washes down the final few crumbs with a swig of ale.
Quince recovers from his gigglefest and pours himself a mug of ale. "Jasyn's right, Ana! You missed Granny while she was here, and now my cousin Henderson is in town! If you're lucky, he'll drop by and you can meet him, too! He can show you some real gypsy charm, he can!"
*feeling absolutely helpless and obviously outnumbered, slowly take a cookie out of the jar and sits down*
Well.... I.... I just don't know what to say..... It must be a conspiracy against me! I can't be gone for long, apparently... All turns to madness and mayhem unless I am here to keep modesty and order in check! And the Flutterfoots?! They were here?!! You have a grandmother?! Did she steal anything?!! Oh dear! Madness, I tell you! Where is Caladril when you need him?
*sighs*
*slowly nibbles on the cookie*
*looks at Sol and assumes her regal air*
And how dare you think I'm a tavern wench, or even suggest that I reveal more of my decolletage! Clearly you do not know who I am, child!
*gasps and freaks out at the sight of a cookie crumb falling on her robe*
Fabiana! Quick! A napkin!
*Fabiana is lost in her reflection on the window*
FABIANA!
*sighs*
That's it... I need a drink... JASYN! The usual!
*stares, bemused, over the cookie jar at Anaris*
.oO(child?)
Now...while I'm appreciatin' yer fondness, I'm fairly sure ye're not me Ma. Fer all that Da woulda mentioned...and Ma woulda mentioned...and I'd nae be half human and all.
*licks cookie crumbs off her lips with a too-dry tongue*
And as fer callin' ya a tavern wench, it's clear yer not qualified yet, tis true. Ye need ta be a bit quicker with the beverages! Ye look like a spry lass! Up ye go! I'll hae a milk, please.
*wraps a protective arm around the cookie jar*
Not me who eats 'em so fast, Lyrlyr! Truth! It's you!
/me blinks.
I... uh... yeah... um...
/me looks around at everyone else and starts whispering.
She's been gone so long. I can't remember what her 'usual' is. What's her usual?
Anyone remember?
*sweeps into the Tavern*
Greetings to thee! Greetings to ALL of thee!
*gracious smile to all*
*stops short*
Lady ANARIS! Darling!
*gathers Anaris in for a warm, if delicate, hug*
*strides in, her boots caked in mud and a smudge of ... something unidentifiable on her cheek*
*stopping, she spies Solerei with the cookies first*
Sol! Greetin's and pass some of them ova hea, will yer? Ye owe me afta draggin' me arse all ova Bonemire killin' buggies!
*eating a cookie, she looks around, finally spotting Kiaria and Anaris, she freezes mid-bite*
Kia! Ana! We ain't seen yer 'round hea in AGES!
*striding over, cookie crumbs and other bits too fierce to mention covering her tunic, she embraces both elves vigorously*
Quince! Why be the gels standin' 'round with nothin' ta wet their lips, like? Can we gets a round of ale?
*turns back to Kiaria*
Took yer suggestion, lass, bout tha salon. How ye like what they did with me hair?
*decides that, despite her hold on the cookie jar, she's gonna lose 'em anyway*
*sighs*
*gets up and goes back into the kitchen to get her own milk*
*returns, replete with milk mustache*
So, she doesn't work here? *gestures at Anaris with a cold mug of milk*
*upon closer inspection, discovers that Bou has smudged both Kiaria and Anaris*
Bah, lemme getcha cleaned up there. *dabs a corner of her sleeve in her milk and starts mopping away at whatever she can reach on the messy elves*
<bounces in waving happily to everyone>
"Hiyas peoples!"
<stops short as she suddenly sees Anaris in the corner>
"ANARY!" <bounces over excitedly>
"did you see that new hairstyle that's going around. It think it looks all icky and stuff when they make it look like you have a beehive and stuff on the top of your head. I mean bees might get confused and everything and try using it for their house and everything then get all mad when they find out its your hair and then they get stuck and try to sting you and mess up your face and then you try to squish them and get bug guts all in your hair and everything!"
<looks down>
"OOOOOOH where did you get your nails done at? they look SOOOOO cute!"
*beams at the sight of her old (in friendship, not in age!) friend and stands up to embrace her*
Kiaria darling, finally!!! I've missed you soooo sooo much!
*air kisses the lovely fellow Elf*
Oh, I've thought about you so much in my travels! You should have seen all the fascinating spas I visited! You would have loved the seaweed wrap as dirty as it sounds, it was marvelous!
*smiles and looks up at the Amazonic Bou*
Oh Bou, darling! Look at you! You look resplendant with the new coif! Surely you must have gone to Elan the famous hairdresser from the Eldarr Grove Spa? You have his trademark look, fantastic! And WHAT are YOU doing?! *directs her glance to Sol, who is rubbing her with some dirty rag* Stop that!
*looks at Bou and Kia* Who is this person? Why does she keep thinking I work here, and why is she RUBBING ME?!
*sees Tanare bouncing back in so squirms away from Sol's grip to greet Tanare*
Tanare! Sweetie darling! It's been a while! Oh! Love the new jewelry! Is that an Erudian Swarowski crystal? Impressive!
*gets handed a glass of ale in an unfamiliar stein and looks puzzled*
Um.....what am I supposed to do with this...?
*blinks and looks from Quince to Jasyn*
>>slowly uncurling from the warm stone in front of the fireplace, he engages in a long langorious stretch, a quiver running down his spine, as he settles all his fur<<
>>reaching up he brushes his whiskers back into order, and gives a slow green eyed gaze around the room, as his nose begins to twitch, his eyes fall on Sol and the lingering milk in the air<<
>>with a leap, he lands on a table, sending it clattering down, and into Anaris as he propels himself directly into Sol at full tiger speed<<
*stands there, petrified in shock, with her red curls covered in white milk, dangling on her face*
*the tavern goes silent*
Quote from: Anaris on October 31, 2006, 12:24:47 PM
*the tavern goes silent*
After the required sound of a metal bowl hitting the ground and rolling to a stop, Quince once again bursts into laughter. As he rolls on the floor giggling, Henderson and Henrieta enter. Seeing the kerran in full pounce on Solerei, Hendy shouts "Hey! Just like old times! Hank, go long!"
Henrieta, with silent Helga in tow, ducks under tables heading up the right, while Hendy leaps over a table going left. Hendy graps the stray bowl and tosses it over the heads of the incredulous elves to Henrieta, who tosses it back while a tankard comes her way. "Horatio, what else you got back there?"
Quince grabs a large kitchen spoon, hops up onto the counter, and soon the three halflings are juggling various items over the heads of the tavern goers.
Lyrima sinks back into her bar stool when Kiaria enters. She buries her face in her hand of cookies, coming up for air just in time to see Sol swiping at Kiaria's gown with a milk soaked sleeve.
"Uh oh." *drops into stealth*
*slips out the back door*
Gracefully enduring the Barbarian Female's effusive embrace, Kiaria steps back. "Verily, Bou, thou art a sight to see! Tis most marvelous good to hear of thy successes in the Spa." She smiles charmingly before gasping in dismay.
"Oh! OH! Looketh at my gown...! Tis a miserable mess." She turns to find Solerei nearby with a milk stein and a wet sleeve. "Sol? Solerei, tis it? Prithee! Tis no need to helpeth me, I can clean off the smudges myse--"
The High Elf completely misses the leap of the Kerra as her entire attention is on her gown and removing milk smudged fiercely unmentionables.
QuoteQuince once again bursts into laughter.
"Anaris! Quickly..."
She turns to Jasyn, "Get thee several pristine towels from the Spa." She turns to Tanare, "Get thee pure water, blessed by Flann in his temple!"
Returning her attention to Anaris, the Koada'Dal Warden soothes, "Tis will be all well, dearest. I shall have thee appropriately cleaned up in moments!" Her voice rises, "Moments!"
She bustles out of the Tavern and returns with hot tea and more of Quince's cookies. "There now, tis to be most marvelous good. Now! MOST. Marvelous. Good!"
*firmly fluffs her hair*
*is underneath a considerable bulk of feline and laying in a puddle of milk*
*phfftttthhhh*
Quote*gets handed a glass of ale in an unfamiliar stein and looks puzzled*
Um.....what am I supposed to do with this...?
*blinks and looks from Quince to Jasyn*
/me answers reflexively and licks his lips.
Ya give it to me.
QuoteShe turns to Jasyn, "Get thee several pristine towels from the Spa." She turns to Tanare, "Get thee pure water, blessed by Flann in his temple!"
/me snorts up some cookie crumbs upon hearing the latter of Kiaria's requests.
Yeah... heh. G'luck with that.
*completely loses any form of Koada'dal temperament she still had in her*
THAT'S IT! The CAT GETS THE WHACK!
*digs through one of her many bags and pulls out Pryce's dreaded and fearful Spatula of Doom"
You are sooooooo going to need all seven of your lives now, Kerran!
*aims the spatula at Kharga and shouts an incantation*
*the incantation fails to hit Kharga, who pounces off, and hits Sol smack in the middle of her forehead*
Oops......
*blushes profusely as Sol morphs into an unidentifiable eight-legged creature*
Oh oh.....
Uh oh. Better lock up ya's sausages! Hide ya's ale 'n pickles 'n llamas!
/me eyes the Spatula of Doom and locates a safe place behind the bar to hunker down.
*seeing a creature that looks much too much like a spider, Bou shrieks and jumps on the table, her hubby not happening to be handy at the moment*
"Ooh yes it is an Bigforeheady peoples crystal thingy. i thought it went good with my bracelets andd stuff so i just HAD to get it."
<dodges most of the ensuing mayham and nods as she realizes the enormity of Kiaria's request when suddenly she sees it. Big, furry and cuddly and all thoughts of the previous request go out of her head as she squeeals with delight>
"KITTY! oooooh you're so CUUUUUUUUUTTTTTE!!!!!!!"
<sprints over to the tiger intent on unleashing the full fury of her full kitty tummy rub attack>
>>as he leaps off Sol, completely unaware of her transformation, he lands right next to the tummy rubber.. moments later, he is naught but a rumbling, purring, writhing mass of furry cuddliness<<
*falls down several times while trying to peer at all of her eight legs*
*gets them all under her*
*scurries straight for Bou's table, clicking*
clickclickclick
*at the sight of a vaguely insectile body with a spiderish number of legs coming at her, Bou loses all semblance of self-control, shrieking at the top of her barbarian lungs, she leaps to the next table over, scattering chairs, drinks, and customers*
BAHLADAR! KILL IT! KILL IT!
"widdle kitty just lub tummy rubby don't he?" Tanare coos happily as she continues to rub kitty's tummy. "Isn;t he CUUUUUUTE Anary?" she looks up smiling
The sight of the large insect scurrying about causes Henrieta to squeal. "Eek! A spider! Nasty giant thing, who let you in here?" Letting the flying objects coming from Hendy fall, she attempts to mez the giant spider.
Quince, watching all this, looks at Jasyn and says, "We haven't had a party like this in ages! We need to get Ana and Kia in here more often!"
*panics at the sight of what's unfolding*
Oh no, no NO by Marr's sake! Don't squish the spider! She's....um......Sir Katu's pet, Eyeballs!!!
*ponders what to do with the Spatula of Doom before anyone other than Jasyn knows she's the culprit*
*notices the rowdy Halflings throwing objects around and acts quickly*
Hello there Halfling! Catch this!
*throws the Spatula of Doom at Henrietta and hides behind the bar with Jasyn*
Quote from: Anaris on November 01, 2006, 11:40:39 AM
*notices the rowdy Halflings throwing objects around and acts quickly*
Hello there Halfling! Catch this!
*throws the Spatula of Doom at Henrietta and hides behind the bar with Jasyn*
Henrieta deftly catches the Spatula and returns it in the direction it came. As Anaris dodges, it flies across the room, catching Bou on the back of the head.
*sparks, whistles, and flares shoot from the spatula after coming in contact with Bou's head. Instinctively, Bou draws her mace and swings, clearing yet more crockery and mugs from the surrounding area and sending the few remaining upright customers diving for cover. Bou readies her own magics in response to the perceived threat. But before she can unleash the explosion, sanity returns and she draws an unsteady breath. Standing for a moment with mace held in the battle ready position, she withdraws from the brink and returns the mace to her side.*
Whoo boy!
*still keeping a wary eye on the skittering Solerei, she turns to Quince*
Thinks I need an ale, Master Quince!
*shuddering at the clicking noises coming from behind her, she drains her mug*
What are ye all hunkerin' down fer? A body cain't even get a drink without folks turnin' folks inta ... things, and raisin' a buncha ruckus.
*taking a seat far from the Solerei inhabited portion of the tavern, Bou hauls a small keg of ale with her and refills her glass*
*having been only half-mezzed, with half the eight legs working, is running in a circle, orbitting her mezzed half*
clickclickclick
*slinks back in at the rukus in the Tavern's main room*
*stares in amazement at the deft halflings, hysterical barbarian, enraged high elf, purring kerra, cooing wood elf, agile half elf and confused insect*
*green eyes follow the flight of the spatula*
*dropping to her crouch, eases her way to the fallen utensil*
*scoops it up and turns*
*spatula now looks, unless one is extremely observant, like it is floating in air*
*The door klicks open and in walks Chika with a happy smile after a day of chemistry. New to this family she decides to go to the tavern, maybe she will catch some people there she can get to know.
Curious she peeks her head around the door and squeels: *
"Hullooooos!"
*Her jaw drops at the sight, and sound of cars purring, elves screaming, hiding, standing on bartables, spilled ale, milk, and just in time she ducked to avoid some weird looking... spatula flying over her head*
"Ooh goodsies.... Where did Chika ends up now..."
>> gasping for air as he wriggles and giggles, he takes ina big whiff and smells.. Mousey!<<
>>spinning around, he disentangles himself from his belly rubbings and takes off<<
MOUSEY!!!
>>right into Chika<<
((Tanare is a "cute elf" which others may call wood elf))
Sees her new found pet kitty leap in pursuit of the ratogna and cheers him on.
"Go kitty go!"
<looks around for the nearest mirror to make sure her hair wasn;t musssed by during the tummy rubbing>
*slips out of stealth next to Jasyn*
Is this Pryce's famous spatula? *waves it as she asks*
*zippity magic descends on...*
Chika quickly tries to oversee the situation, but the noise, screams and... the huge cat coming rapidly in her direction gives her only somuch time.
She drops to her 4 feet and sprints in the oposite direction of where Kharga comes from.
With some swift jumps, she sets course to the bar, making use of the table where Boudeccai still screams her lungs out, jumps on Kiaria's head, completely messing up her coifure, and lands on the bar, where she stands eye in eye with Jasyn and Lyrima...
Looking into their faces, she carefully whispers..
"Oopsie...!"
<gasps in horror at the sight of Kiaria's messed up hair and knows for certain the rat person must be real mean to do such a horrible thing>
>>cutting a tight turn, he leaps, hits the wall, from the wall to a table, straight up off one of the rafters, to go hurtiling towards the mousey from above, arms outstretched, big grin on his face<<
*just as Lyrima asks if the spatula is Pryce's, Anaris shouts in anticipation*
YES! DUCK EVERYONE!!!
*and the magical streak escaping the spatula lands on the pouncing Kerra, which in turn, transforms into a duck*
No! Not QUACK QUACK DUCK! DUCK from the spatu.......oh brother.... Quickly Lyrima! Striek the spatula toward Kharga again! Maybe he'll turn back into a kitty!
*waits and prays*
>>spreading his wings, he lets out a few flaps of his wings, trying to gain some air<<
>>and then sends a large blob of droppings onto Anaris' head and shoulder<<
/me looks at Anaris in her latest predicament, his face twitching as he unsuccessfully masks a smirk at the brink of erupting into laughter.
/me decides to conceal himself in shadow so that Anaris can't see him rolling on the floor in uncontrollable fits.
NOOOOO KITTTY! Tanare cries out in despair as the cute kitty turns into a noisy ducky. But realizing more important things are afoot, she takes out her combs and brushes and askes Kiaria seriously.
So which one of these do you want to borrow to get your hair all fixed up good and stuff. There HAS to be a mirror around here sometwheres Tanare says as she starts looking for one
*hands fly to her hair*
*blushes deeply*
Afore my lord and husband arriveth, I cannot like this look!
*smiles tremulously at Tanare and selects the proper equipment*
*closes warm brown eyes*
*swiftly returns golden locks to coiffed perfection*
Twas an accident, surely. *smiles serenely at Chika*
Now, Anaris, Darling, hast thou addressed thy gown inconvenience?
*smiles warmly at Tanare and returns the hair equipment*
*gracefully makes her way over to Anaris, oblivious of the chaos around her*
Where tis Jasyn? Surely he should be back by now... *glances around but doesn't see the Ranger*
Perhaps tis time for a full outfit change? Mayhap something in blue, to match thine eyes?
*ponders Anaris, head tilted slightly to the side*
Wha..?
*looks from the kerran duck to the desheveled koada'dal*
Uh. Yah.
*flicks her wrist in the direction of Anaris, with the duck circling above the Illusionist's head*
Tanare looks in horror at Anaris' outfit after once again saving the day in mighty and tough ranger fashion by helping Kiaria to fix her hair. Glancing to Anaris she hads helpfully
"Don't worry Anary! I'll find Jasy with his seaweed hair so he can like get you your luggage so you can find something to change into and stuff."
<Tanare begins to follow a trail of beer split on the floor and knows Jasyn will soon be found.>
Quote from: tanare on November 04, 2006, 06:26:39 AM
<Tanare begins to follow a trail of beer split on the floor and knows Jasyn will soon be found.>
< Heh! As if Jasyn would let beer spill! >
Realizing that they have been upstaged, Hendy and Henrieta (with Helga in tow) go around to join Quince behind the bar and pour four pints of ale. Sitting back, they giggle and enjoy the show.
Quote from: Quince on November 04, 2006, 07:05:29 AM
Quote from: tanare on November 04, 2006, 06:26:39 AM
<Tanare begins to follow a trail of beer split on the floor and knows Jasyn will soon be found.>
< Heh! As if Jasyn would let beer spill! >
((hey i never said it was HIS beer ;) ))
((omg Kharga are you trying to kill poor Anaris?! hahah))
*feels the warm trickle of dropping sliding down her forehead and neck*
*the most horrific facial expression anyone's ever seen takes shape in her face*
*begins to pant and quiver all over*
*notices everyone's laughing*
You think it's funny??? YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY?!!!!
*casts Group Illusion: Gnoll and turns everyone into a hungry puppy, except Kharga who was flying too high for the spell to take effect*
Now, all of you! EAT THE DUCK!!!
Puppy! ooh i look SOOOOO cute. can i adopt me? Hey what's that cute furry thingy over there turns around to look but the mysterious object vanishes. sees it again, spins again. Tanare begins to feel annoyed as she sees it again and takes off in hot pursuit.
Anyone watching sees tanare puppy chasing her own tail happily
>>seeing all the gnolls, his eyes flash green and he is overcome with tiger-rage!<<
/willofthewind
>>dispels the illusion, landing lightly on his feet, claws unsheathed, gazing out over the crowd<<
(( hehehe Ana.. Kharga *hates* gnolls ! ))
/me trail of ale mysteriously disappears as the sounds of a stealthy gnoll is heard lapping it up off the floor.
*laughs maniacally at the sight of all who laughed at her when she was baptized by the duck dropping*
See? She who laughs last laughs the, um, best!
*realizes for a second that, to her own ears, it didn't sound like Elvish, more like: "Woof! Woof woof woof awwww woof woof!!" *
WOOF!
*starts whimpering at the sight of the angry and ferocious feline growling at her*
*turns to look as the noise changes in the Tavern from cheerful to menacing*
*shrieks as she is surrounded by gnolls*
*starts preparing a lightning spell*
*brown eyes fall on her own...paws?!*
*sliips silently to the floor in a faint*
*lays in unattractive heap, a thin thread of drool easing its way down her cheek*
*walks in having finally found the place*
Hello!
*eyes widen as she sees Kharga beset by obviously insane gnolls*
Oh my... Kitty!
*realising she didn't bring any sticks she grabs a handy gnoll and begins flailing away*
I will help!
::crouching, he leaps over the heads of all the Saga gnolls, and lands lightly next to Peri:: snatching the gnoll from her hands and dropping it on the floor::
"Sorry.. um.. whoever.."
::grabbing Peri, he leaps up, landing lightly on the rafters, setting her on ther rafter next to him::
"OK.. here's the deal.. all of them.. that's Saga.. and I think all the mages are down there.. So how're we gonna fix this before the floor is too permanently.. umm soiled. You know all these puppies can't be housetrained."
*a tiara-wearing, very well-groomed gnoll with soft fur and a fluttering tail looks up at Peri and Kharga with pleading puppy eyes*
Woof woof! Woof.....woof?
*the gnoll has a bit of duck dropping over part of its face*
QuoteSo how're we gonna fix this before the floor is too permanently.. umm soiled. You know all these puppies can't be housetrained.
/me trail of disappearing ale grows no shorter as the lapping sounds of a hidden gnoll come to a complete stop.
Quote"OK.. here's the deal.. all of them.. that's Saga.. and I think all the mages are down there.. So how're we gonna fix this before the floor is too permanently.. umm soiled. You know all these puppies can't be housetrained."
We could get a razor and umm...
No that would take forever.
<Tanare stops chasing her tail at last and pouts gnollishly at her unruly tail. notes how her fur is all in disarray after the actitivy and begins to groom herself>
*lets herself down on a string of silk from the rafters high in the corner*
*clickclickclick*
*carefully walks over fainted gnolls, duck droppings, loose feathers, a sticky spot of gnoll spit and beer residue...*
*clickclickclick*
*climbs up a barstool and puts four of eight legs on the bar, making a demanding CLICK at Quince*
*this arachnid needs a beverage*
Quince notices the spider formerly known as Solerei approach the bar. As she clicks at him, he gets out a row of shot glasses.
"One round of 'spider bite' coming up!"
*sidles over to the tiara-clad gnoll*
*growls*
arfchangewoofusarfarfback,whineIllusionisthooooowwl.
*grins wolfishly*
*tries to make out what Lyrima-puppy is saying*
Woof woof woof WOOF!
*isn't sure if her spell chanting will work in barks*
*concentrates really hard*
WOOF!
*a big swirl fills the tavern and all the puppies take anthropomorphic shapes again......in miniature*
Yay! Finally! I can stand on two feet again!
*notices her voice is squeakier than usual*
Why is that..........why is that barstool so high up?
*blinks several times*
*looks in Jasyn's direction*
Why.......why is that Gnome holding Jasyn's ale mug? And holding my bags?
*panics, feeling the sudden urge to "invent" something*
<suddenly realizes what a great thing it would be to have an automatic combing hair comb that would work without having to use her hands and decides to try and make one>
After several unfortunate mandible-related shotglass accidents, the Solspider (of considerable size) has downed enough to make her see double...which, with approximately 100 eyes, comes out to 200 or so...sets of gnome-sized creatures wandering around the tavern.
They're really pretty much her size.
And they look juicy.
*clickclickclick*
Those ones with the Tiaras looks especially soft and juicy.
*clickclickclick*
Now if they'd just stand still.
*clickwobbleclick*
Oh gods Peri.. I forgot about Sol.. I'll take her.. you handle all the gnomes... >>with a snarl, he leaps from the rafters, landing on Solspidey's back, and hooking his arms around some of her legs, and his legs around some other legs, trying to keep her immobile<<
Nowhere in the arachnid guidebooks does it cover plummeting furry missiles that weigh three times as much as said arachnids.
*clickwobbleSPLAT*
*faint, furmuffled click*
Quote from: Kharga on November 08, 2006, 02:54:35 PM
Oh gods Peri.. I forgot about Sol.. I'll take her.. you handle all the gnomes... >>with a snarl, he leaps from the rafters, landing on Solspidey's back, and hooking his arms around some of her legs, and his legs around some other legs, trying to keep her immobile<<
Umm ok!
>>looks around confused then gets an Idea<<
Hey You! look at this!
>>dumps a sack of mechanical parts onto the floor<<
Mechanical Booty!
>>almost all the gnomes she knows are pirates or mad scientists<<
"oooh pretty metal gear thingies! I bet that will help me make my cutre automatic combing thingy!"
<Tanare bounces over and starts sorting through the gears to see which ones will attach best to her comb>
/me finds some parts that have been partially assembled to resemble a familiar object.
Oooh. A mechanical ale mug. I wonder how it works...
/me leans in close to the mouth of the stein to peek inside. He feels around the handle and the lip of the mug, trying to figure out if there are any buttons to help operate it...
WHIZZ! - CHITTER! - CLANG! - SNAP!
OOOOOOOOOoooooWwww!!! Wha the heck kinda daggum son of a biscuit <mumblemumble> is this!?!
/me tries to shake the mug free of his hands, but it's stuck to him like a Chinese finger trap puzzle.
Quince watches Jasyn-gnome in fascination. "Hey! Someone find the Doc! Jasyn got himself caught in the drunk cowboy trap!"
He giggles at the sight, then is suddenly struck with an inspiration to improve the heat-output of the stove ...
>>wrangling and wrestling with the giant spider, he makes very little progress, and somehow ends up lying on his back on top of a table, still trying to pin all the spider's scrabbling legs<<
How about a spider cage folks?!?
(( and oh my god.. Quince is gonna burn down the tavern ))
*clickclickclick*
*begins spinning silk and wrapping up the rolling, flailing Kerran*
*clickclickfurstuffedpillowclick*
Cage! Cage! Let's make a cage! A pretty one too, Tanare darling see that we find the finest of wrought irons and a silver lever fo the mechanical handle... Perhaps we ought to just, oh! I have an idea! We can figure out a way to make it so that there's a pulling device on it and we can raise it to the ceiling when the spider is being naughty, that way we have more room in the tavern! We'll also need to implement a feeding system so we don't have to get near it, and maybe a lockpad for safety, and WHAT AM I SAYING!??? I am NOT A GNOME!
*looks around the room in exasperation*
That's it! We all have to go back to our original selves!
*looks around again*
Well, except maybe that one... It can stay in Gnome form....
*eyes Sunbeam*
Alright, um........does anyone remember the spell chant for reverse illusion? Anyone at all? Helloooooo? I... um..... I slept during that lesson........
*scratches her head and contemplates inventing a time machine so she can go back and wake herself up during class*
Sunbeam walks in, banging his head on the doorframe. As he shakes his head, he calls out,
"HELO SAGA PEE ..."
He surveys the scene, and a blissful expression covers his face. He can hardly contain his excitement, and starts to bounce up and down, causing minor tremors in the floor.
"NOOOOOMMMMESSSSS!!!!! LOTS AND LOTS OF NOOOOMMMMMESSSSSS!"
AAH! OGRE!
*panics and prays Sunbeam doesn't step on her*
/me finally pries the contraption from his fingers.
Whew! I need a drink. Good thing all the mugs in this place're extra large now. Mmm.
/me wonders when that happened.
Quote"NOOOOOMMMMESSSSS!!!!! LOTS AND LOTS OF NOOOOMMMMMESSSSSS!"
Huh? What're ya talkin' 'bout, Beamer?
/me looks around the room and then at himself.
Son of a biscuit.
>>the struggling, squirming silk encased kerra begins to make strange noises, and his movements slow<<
*looks at the poor strangling Kharga*
Are you sure you are handling that?
*pokes him*
Doesn't look like you can breath.
*pokes again*
I hate to interfere... but
*pulls out a katar and starts cutting Kharga free*
Mind ya don't slice off his tail, now, y'hear?
/me keeps watching anway.
... 'n somebody un-gnome me already! I'm gettin' the willies.
Tanare suddenly remembers another time when an ogre tried to eat her at Littany -bad- dressy-makey-person's party at lord thuley's house and leaps behind the bar at the sight of another ogre oblvious to whoever may already be cowering behind there until the collision....
>>As the threads start to loosen, he takes in a huge gasp, panting heavily, then abruptly sitting up, giving three sharp barks and spewing a spiderwebball onto Peri's boots<<
::coughcough:: .. Sorry Per....
Eww
Horse hooves are heard and they stop outside the tavern. The door opens carefully and Gwenae gracefully enters carrying a large pack. The door closes behind her and she stops suddenly when she views the gnomes, ogres, and a large spider on the ceiling.
"Um, what in Tunare's name is going on here? A little ale and you all go wild? What are you drinking that is causing this? Maybe I should try some." She says with a laugh.
Moving towards the bar, she takes in the scene and wonders about Peri with a huge ball of spider silk at her feet.
Three halflings behind the bar seem to be doing some sort of juggling act with the bottles.
Quince, one of the three, says, "What'll it bee, Gwen? You have Flutterfoot Flying Bar tonight! Name your drink!"
*becomes highly frustrated (apparently a Gnomish trait) and shouts*
WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE UNDO THIS ILLUSION!!!!!????
*blushes*
I seem to have forgotten how to......
*blushes some more and hides behind a chair*
*waddles over to the fallen Princess*
Yo, Kiaria! *nudges with booted foot*
*shakes head*
*glances around*
*kneels*
*whispers in the fallen Koada'Dal's dainty ear*
*waits*
*warm brown eyes blink open*
*confused glance around the room*
What tis on thy mind, Lady Lyrima?
*rises gracefully to a sitting positon*
*focuses on Lyrima then glances down at herself*
*gasps*
My lord Crulei--
I ... Tis impossible !!
*hastily scrambles up, all gnome*
*waddles to the back room*
*snorts*
*drops face, shaking head*
*shaking continues from head to shoulders to all out laughter*
:2funny:
*waddles back in*
*heads straight for Anaris gnome*
*thrusts large tome into her hands*
Tis the spell, Lady Anaris! Speakest thou the incantation for an Illusionist I am not.
And, Darling...
*steely look*
Speaketh thee, now.
*steps back*
*from the shadows, a voice speaks, directed at Kiaria and Anaris*
"Ello, Ladies Anaris and Kiaria. Ye ain't lookin' yerselves at the moment. 'Ere, lemme get ye ter elven forms."
A blue hand emerges holding an elaborate theatre mask. It glows for a moment, enveloping the two former high elves and transforming them into Tier'dal, blue skinned versions almost identical to their previous high elven forms.
"Ye know they made this 'ere mask ter sneak inter Kithicor ter stop the armies of Neriak? So I guess it's supposed to be pretty effective fer changing elves from one form ter anotha'.. oh.. hmm... "
Noticing that her transformation may not have been what her two friends may have wanted, Renei emerges in her Dark Elf form. "Yer probably want to be Koada'Dal, not Tier'Dal don'cha? I'll have to go get a different item fer that. 'Less ye ken figger out how ter turn off yer illusion magic, Lady Anaris."
Renei leaves to go get her high elven bone fragment collection.
*walks in, looks around, and dons his helmet*
** opens the door a lil bit, peeks and runs off again **
*glances down at her blue skin and promptly begins to scream*
*loudly*
*looks to Kiaria and wonders why she's screaming*
Kiaria, darling... ?
<also holds out her arm as tears begin to form>
"I have the icky purple rash Anary!"
*smiles sweetly at Tanare*
No you don't, sweety, that's just tavern germs.... Here, let me give you a silk handkerchief to wi....
*freaks out*
My...........skin............BLUE?!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
*grabs her hair while catching a reflection on the window and notices it's a pasty white color*
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Which one of you DID THIS?!!! NAMAE!!
((actually this is tanare anaris- anyae's in the other thread- note the distinctive tanare ending of every name in existance with the letter Y ;) ))
((aaaah danke! ;))
Namae teleports in, on cue.
Taking note of the entire roomful of Tier'dal, "Lady Anaris, you know I don't come into the tavern unless I have a very good reason, and I don't appreciate being screamed at when I haven't done anything." The half elf sighs, casting a spell divination, "It looks like you let your frustration get tangled up in your illusion spell. You'll never be able to untangle it from yourself if you don't let go of that. Try being calm, and taking deep breaths, and relaxing instead of being tense... the spell should dissolve all on it's own."
Taking in Lady Kiaria as well, the druidess continues, "Though I must say, blue suits both of you better than you might think." She smirks mischieviously.
*looks to Namae and pouts*
*ears perk up at the compliment*
Really? Blue suits me well? Even with the strange yet pearl-like hair highlights? I mean, blue is the new ivory, after all.... I read it in Vanity Faire...
*primps in front of the window glass*
*opens the door again, just a bit, and peeks*
*walks to the corner, sits down and wait to see what will happen*
<Tanare realizes with shock that Anaris is actually seeming to be ok with the whole of idea of having the deadly purple rash of doom on her skin and bounces over>
"Anary, its like a rash and stuff...if you don't get rid of it soon your skin will get all icky for like,forever....and us elfies have long forevers. I heard it even makes you all grumpy and bad tempered and stuff too and then that will like get you sick and stuff so you can;t eat and then you end up looking like a...a.. zombie and stuff with all your bones sticking out and everything cause you can't eat none."
"Tanare! It's an illusion spell, it's not a disease." Namae sighs, "We need Lady Anaris to calm down, so she can remove the spell herself. You should know that, by the way. Did you ever get rabies from turning into a canine? I hope not!"
"Besides, if you were colorblind you couldn't tell the difference between their" Namae indicates Kiaria, Anaris and the rest of the Tier'Dal in the pub, "normal forms and these ones. The only deviation is the coloring of their skin and hair doesn't match her dress anymore, naturally. But who am I to criticize? I'm wearing beaten leather into a tavern."
/me drunk gnome emerges from the back room with a hacksaw, looking disturbingly interested in the chair that a visiting stranger just sat in.
Quote from: Jasyn on January 14, 2007, 08:24:33 PM
/me drunk gnome emerges from the back room with a hacksaw, looking disturbingly interested in the chair that a visiting stranger just sat in.
** notes she is being noticed**
**winks to the drunk gnome**
psst please join me, i will buy ya a drink, i could use some info
Quote from: Namae Nai on January 14, 2007, 03:50:54 PM
"Tanare! It's an illusion spell, it's not a disease." Namae sighs, "We need Lady Anaris to calm down, so she can remove the spell herself. You should know that, by the way. Did you ever get rabies from turning into a canine? I hope not!"
"Besides, if you were colorblind you couldn't tell the difference between their" Namae indicates Kiaria, Anaris and the rest of the Tier'Dal in the pub, "normal forms and these ones. The only deviation is the coloring of their skin and hair doesn't match her dress anymore, naturally. But who am I to criticize? I'm wearing beaten leather into a tavern."
"I HAVE RABIES TOO?!?!? NOOOOOOOO! I mean i used have my skin care ointments to get rid of the rashes but no one every wanted to use then but thnen i lost them when i had to swim away from Traky's store after the cavein so i don;t have no more or nuthin."
"Wait a minute... my har doesn;t match my outfit either?!?!?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"
*opens her eyes to a squint*
*notices Anaris calmly primping in front of the glass*
*abruptly stops screaming*
*appears thoughtful*
*heads to back room*
*eyes the hacksaw*
Doc Wiffle? Have ya been drinkin?
*eases over next to the stranger and drunken gnome*
*turns bright green eyes on the newcomer*
Do I know ya? I'm Lyrima Vakhar, Ranger of 43 Ranks in the Tunarian Alliance 'n Vet of Saga!
*thrusts hand at Gwendolin*
/me snaps out of his daze and shoots Lyrima a menacing glance.
Who're ya callin' Doc Wiffle?
/me examines the hacksaw.
What'm I doin' with this hacksaw?
/me looks at Anaris and Kiaria.
Why're they blue?
/me looks down at his feet.
... 'n why'm I STILL a GNOME!?
/me slowly turns toward Anaris.
I'd rather be blue than a daggum gnome! What 'bout the resta us!?
/me swings around the hacksaw carelessly.
Wha' happened to Pryce's spatula? Change us back!
/me pouts.
I can't drink as much ale between tree breaks bein' this tiny... 'n my fingers still hurt.
/me leans against the visitor's leg and sobs.
**pats Jasyn on the back**
heeee look on the bright side....i never seen an elf look so pritty...........
ai...that prolly came out wrong........
anyway...wanna coffee?
Quote from: Lyrima on January 15, 2007, 04:40:35 PM
*eyes the hacksaw*
Doc Wiffle? Have ya been drinkin?
*eases over next to the stranger and drunken gnome*
*turns bright green eyes on the newcomer*
Do I know ya? I'm Lyrima Vakhar, Ranger of 43 Ranks in the Tunarian Alliance 'n Vet of Saga!
*thrusts hand at Gwendolin*
** takes hand and shakes**
please come and join us lil green eye...... my name is Gwendolin..
can i buy ya a drink?
Oh, nonsense, Namae! I am in no mood for thinking and using magic at the moment... I'm far too pretty for that right now...
*continues to ignore Jasyn-gnomes pleas and keeps primping in front of the glass window*
Hmmmmm....
*keeps looking at herself with a smile that's half-wicked, half-mischievous*
Hello there, you vixen, you... *talks to her reflection*
*takes out her compact and powders her nose*
Oh, for Innoruuk's sake! This compact is no good for my skin... The shade doesn't match my new moontan! Fabiana! Quickly, ask Noa where she gets her make-up at and fetch me a dozen different palattes of lipstick, eye shadows, and powder pouf.....NOW! *slightly snarls*
Oh, and make sure you see that Adeste tells you where her black market merchants are at... I need new dresses.... *regal nod*
*turns to the newcomer*
Why, hello there, newcomer. Welcome to our tavern... Of course you may buy me a drink... Elven wine, please, the rare vintage label... In a platinum ruby-encrusted goblet...
*eyes Jasyn-gnome, then addresses Gwendolyn*
...and I know you are new to these parts, but, will you PLEASE shut your pet up?! I hate it when they squeal... I'd quiet it up by kicking if it wasn't for my lacy boots, I'd hate to get them dirty...
*walks toward the back, joining Kiaria as they look for robes that match their new hair*
ok missy...an elven whine it is......
** accedently drops a glass of water over the sobbing elven gnoom**
oops sorry buddy
*mumbling* perhaps this will sober him up a bit
*eying the woman who is adressing her**
*mumbling my dress looks better hihi**
could i please bother you for some information aswell miss?
i mean i just ran from the freeport side, and i am looking for a family here.........
could you please tell me what families are recruitong and who i need to speak to for that?
*Dark Elf Ana turns around and faces Gwendolyn*
Well, aren't you in luck, newcomer one... You seem to have walked into the right tavern after all...
*changes her tone of voice to add a hint of sarcasm*
Here at Saga, we pride ourselves in being very integrated and globalized by kindly accepting just about every reject that walks through that door... Ogres, Gnomes, even Half-Elves and Goblins have a place in Saga! *rolls her eyes* How many Qeynos taverns can boast such a variety of people more than Saga can? It truly is a home for the homeless! *eyes the newcomer again* Or for those that dress like they are homeless...
*walks toward Gwendolyn, eyeing her up and down again*
Pray tell, dear, what made you take such perilous journey from Freeport to Qeynos? And please, do not tell me it is because you *switches tones to mimic a goody-two-shoe girl* feel that Freeport is unjust and unfair and you do not believe in their wicked beliefs and would like to find a better life somewhere were people are treated with kindness...
*switches back to Dark Elf Ana mode*
Don't tell me that sob story! It's what everyone else says, and it's sooooo booooooring..... Tell us a tale of courage, deceit, revenge, even a little lust.... Come on now, impress us.... Tell us how you got here....
*leans back and rests her hip on the table, mischievous grin on her face, waiting for Gwendolyn's reply*
....and....em....you didn't happen to bring with you a dashing Shadow Knight with a slight resemblance to a blue-skinned Kuladen, did you? We've a serious lacking of those around these parts, you see...
*peers over Gwendolyn's shoulder, just in case*
well missy....lets start with the most important thing.........
have you seen the way they dress there??? i mean....need i say more??
but an other great reason is...they dont seem to understand me, i mean i am a real nicwoman, in all aspects i might add, i mean, i am a great healer, but they only saw the bad side of me in freeport. ok i might be a lil bitchy sometimes, at least this is what i am told, i strongly disagree on that, but thats no reason to dislike me now is it.......true, i am ainqui...i mean templar now, so i CAN wear plate armor, but be reasonable..... a female in platemail???? i prefer a nice dress.
so what i am really looking for in a family is that they are NOT so short sighted that when they see me they think....hmmm just an other well dressed pritty face.....
true...i cant fight, but i can heal, and thats why i am here
**completely eying anaris**
and you guys may not mind the way you dress, but my motto is....even if i die, i still look goooood
Quoteso what i am really looking for in a family is that they are NOT so short sighted that when they see me they think....hmmm just an other well dressed pritty face.....
*tilts her head and looks at Gwendolyn completely puzzled*
Whatever do you mean by that?! Are you saying there is more to life than that?!
*shockawedismay*
<Tanare runs over to Gwendolin still purple>
"You're a healy person? ooh can you like cure me fast and stuff. Namay says i have rabies from when i turned into a cute widdle puppy dog even though i thought i was too cute a puppy to get rabies and stuff."
<upon hearing the last bit of the conversation>
"oh yeah plate makes you all tin can smelly and icky and stuff. i don't know why anyone would like even wear plate and stuff...well unless they were in the sinky sandy place maybe and it was real hot and they wanted to go to a suana but there wasn;t any around and stuff maybes so they said 'hey i can like wear this smelly icky hot platemail and melt the pounds away' but then they'd be even smellier cause they'd be all sweaty and icky and who knows what that would do to their hair on top of everything!"
<blinks in confusion>
"did i ask if you could cure the rabies yet? oh yeah i'm Tanare mighty and tough and adorably cute ranger, well when i don't have this icky purple magic rash thingy Anary put on me, that's what Namay says anyways "
*looks to Tanare and puts her hands on her hips*
I did not give you a purple rash! Namae did.... *nods* You do look awfully cute as a baby blue Elf, though...
*nods and smiles appreciatively at Tanare, then turns again to Gwendolyn*
Now, Tanare has a point... How did someone as small as you wear all that plate? Oh, the horror it must have been for you! I can empathize! Well, I mean, granted, I've never worn plate, but I can only imagine how awful it must be to look like a male human servant!
*inspects Gwendolyn's wardrobe again*
So, where did you get that ensemble....? I must say, it is not too bad... Perhaps they have some in Tanare's, Kiaria's and my size............?
**looks at tanare**
hee you boy....dont you see we have important buiseness to take car of here....we no interested in your purple colour..... we talk dresses here....
**looks anaris's dress again**
well missy, i can see you really could use some advise. I have some unfinished buiseness to take care of in freeport, but will be back in a week, to help you pick out some nice dresses.
(( ooc will go on holliday, and will be back saturday in a week))
soo missy, i hope to take you shooping someday, and in the mean while.....well you dress this way for so long, an other week wouldt be THAT bad.....
**looks at tanare again**
and you boy....you really need to fix that purple colour, you look like a clown..
ok...back in a week...
** turns and walks out of the bar**
BYE ALL!!
<starts to cry at Gwendolin's words>
"They turned me into a boy too? But i was such a cute girl elfy before now i'm going to be a purple boy forever!" <cries some more> "And do you have any idea how icky the dresses are trying to match white hair when blond hair is a much cuter color ensemble to match with and purple skin even? Do you know how many colors clash with pruple!?!"
<sees Gwendolin turn to leave>
"NOOOOOO you have to like fix me so i can be cute again!" <cries>
A moment, Darling.
*beckons Tanare*
Cometh here, sweetie, taketh a look at these dresses. I am most certainly positive we canst find thee something lovely to weareth.
*steps over with a warm smile in her purple face*
Prithee, do cometh.
*takes Tanare's hand and leads her to the wardrobe*
<looks around at Lyrima's words>
"Um who's Prithy? I don;t see her...or is it him?"
<blinks in confusion>
"Dresses? That match purple and look cute? Is that possible Lyrimy? I mean i can find stuff that like matches my eye color but that's like a totally different sytle/shading coloration. And white hair too? It makes me look old, almost like 150 even!"