He's a lawyer. Let the jokes begin.
Do you know someone like Kalinda on the Good Wife? Kalinda is really sizzlin.
It is going to be really hard to read anything he types on the forums since no matter what font a lawyer picks, it always comes out in fine print.
*bow*
Thank you. Thank you. I am here all week.
Oh wow, ahahahaa
We could use a bit more Law around here.
The Chaos has gotten out of control.
Welcome Brad-
If I were not a barrister
something else I'd like to be
If I were not before the bar
An engine driver, me!
With a chuf chuf chuf
and a chuf chuf chuf
and a chuf chuf...
Welcome! Unfortunately, I don't have any lawyer jokes at the moment.
I had to go digging for it, but lawyer joke away!
NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars. Only one could go and couldn't return to Earth.
The first applicant, an engineer, was asked how much he wanted to be paid for going. "A million dollars," he answered, "because I want to donate it to M.I.T."
The next applicant, a doctor, was asked the same question. He asked for $2 million. "I want to give a million to my family," he explained, "and leave the other million for the advancement of medical research."
The last applicant was a lawyer. When asked how much money he wanted, he whispered in the interviewers ear, "Three million dollars."
"Why so much more than the others?" asked the interviewer.
The lawyer replied, "If you give me $3 million, I'll give you $1 million, I'll keep $1 million, and we'll send the engineer to Mars."
Also when I was 7, I made my own halloween costume and went out as a blood sucking lawyer because I had heard my dad refer to my uncle as such. I even had a briefcase full of money that I stole from my clients after I drained their blood. I may have been a strange child. Anyways Welcome!
An actual lawyer. Bring out the cigars!
I am Denny Krane.
Welcome aboard.
Welcome. I have a old one.
What do you call a hundred lawyers at the bottom of the sea.
A good start. O0
I was trying to be on my best behavior. I can't do it. ::)
"Technically" it's my favorite engineer joke, but it's the punchline that makes it worth the while.
QuoteEngineer In Hell
An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer -- you're in the wrong place."
So, the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After awhile, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.
One day, God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?"
Satan replies, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."
God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake -- he should never have gotten down there; send him up here."
Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."
God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue."
Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"
Ahahahaha
Sorry I know its silly to laugh but still. You can make jokes about me as compensation.
:2funny:
Welcome to Saga guild!
Please be sure to read the posts stickied at the top of this forum and be sure you agree with the rules and charter. This guild has a history, as you will see. It is, well, a Saga.
Saga is also part of a multi-game guild formed when a few wandered off to try other games. Sister guilds have formed, and we all come here to check on each other. This multi-game guild is currently called SagaFamily. We are indeed a family.
To become part of that, please take the time to fill out the attached roster card and post it to this message. This procedure is for the others here who will not see you in TOR so they can get to know you. You do not have to fill the roster card out to be part of Saga in-game. You can do it now or in the future. You can fill one out even if you do not wish to join the larger family. There is no pressure, and no rush. Take your time and look around.
Just a reminder: After your board rank is changed to recruit, you will be granted access to the private game related forums, such as questing and crew skills.
If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask!
Welcome!
Ryland
Saga TOR MOI
Roster Card for Saga.
Please write an introduction to your character.
Include name, race, gender, class, alignment.
If you have crew skills or have other talents, please include those as well.
Do you have alternate characters on the same server?
How did you hear of us?
Is there anyone you have gotten to know from our family, IC or OOC?
What Roleplay games have you participated in?
What are you looking for as a member of our guild?
Have you read and agree to our Guild Policies and Guidelines?
Please answer the following three questions, IN CHARACTER:
Tell us of your past.
What hobbies and directives do you presently have?
Where do you see yourself in the future?
Hello guys ... thanks for making me feel welcome. Lawyer jokes are funny, and from my signature, you can see I don't take myself too seriously.
For background, I am 52 ... have been married 27 years, and have a 20 year old son. I started playing RPGs in 1979 with paperback D&D. I have played many RPGs since then (Chivalry and Sorcery, Space Opera, Champions, Star Wars, The White Wolf World of Darkness stuff, etc.). I started playing MMORPGs in 1999 with Asheron's Call. After AC, I played FFXI for a year, WoW for about 4 years (was a raiding Holy/Disc Priest), AoC, WAR, and a few more. I just canceled my subscription for Rift in anticipation of playing SWTOR. In most MMOs, I play a healer or healer/dps hybrid (OG mage in AC, Red Mage in FFXI, Holy/Disc Priest in WoW, ToS in AoC, etc.).
Right now, I am planning to play a Trooper/Commando. I will probably level with a dps build, then decide whether to spec dps or medic when I get to 50. I am going to play a 40ish Trooper. I am probably going to explain my low rank at the beggining based on accidentally sleeping with the Commander's wife. The rest of his background and personality I will develop over time.
Thanks again for letting me join this great group of people.
Roster Card for Saga.
Please write an introduction to your character.
Name will be Brad with a suffix ... Braddarr, Braddocc, Braddass, etc.
He will be a 40ish Human Trooper. I expect his alignment will be light grey (mostly light side, but with a tendency to slip occasionally).
Do you have alternate characters on the same server?
I will also have a Jedi Consular, with a Brad- name too.
How did you hear of us?
From hours spent looking over the RP guilds on the SWTOR website.
Is there anyone you have gotten to know from our family, IC or OOC?
Not in game, just PM conversations and reading the forums.
What Roleplay games have you participated in?
Pen and paper: D&D, Chivalry and Sorcery, Space Opera, Champions, Star Wars, The White Wolf World of Darkness stuff, etc. I have many more games I collected, but never played.
MMORPGs: Asheron's Call, FFXI, WoW, AoC, WAR, Champions Online, LotRO, and I just finished playing Rift.
What are you looking for as a member of our guild?
I am pretty self sufficient, so all I am looking for are people to group with and have fun with.
Have you read and agree to our Guild Policies and Guidelines?
Yes I have.
Please answer the following three questions, IN CHARACTER:
Tell us of your past.
I have been a Trooper for 20 Years. I get results, but not always in the way the brass wanted.
What hobbies and directives do you presently have?
My hobbies are alcohol, women, and playing with my BFG.
Where do you see yourself in the future?
I am a soldier, I go where the action is.
Notable Quotes:
"Mine is not to reason why, mine is but to shoot the guy"
"I think I feel a disturbance in the force ... oh wait, it was only indigestion"
Roster Card complete. With any luck, I will see some of you tomorrow (I pre-ordered on July 24).