*slams the door behind her after entering the tavern while holding up a Freeportian newspaper*
JASYN! Where are you, you miserable scoundred!!! Where???
*holds up the paper showing everyone*
Look at what he was up to! Probably in one of his drunken stupors!
(( http://www.guildportal.com/Guild.aspx?GuildID=209853&ForumID=1023969&TabID=1770902&Replies=8&TopicID=7853487 ))
Not that this surprises me the least bit! But what I want to make sure of is that you didn't have my bags with me at the time of the incident!! I can't have my bags spotted in Freeport!!! It'll ruin my reputation!
<Glances up at the flapping copy of The Freeport Observer>
Anaris, don't tell me you read that drivel? You'll have me believing all the rumors, if I find out you've been searching for news about Lucan...
*freezes and turns really pale*
I....um......eh.... No! Wait! I didn't go out searching for this in the black market so I could read Page 6 and see pictures of who Lucan has been dating lately! Nor did I want to see what the latest fashion styles are in the Temple Street boutiques!
*panics*
I.... stumbled upon it! I saw it in a trash can outside....um...outside Mabb's house! It's her you should be questioning, not me! Methinks she still has ties to Freeport!
*nods vigorously and blinks rapidly*
*eyes Anaris sternly* Mabb can't read ...
*goes from very pale to flushing very red*
Um.......
Pictures! She wanted to look at the pictures!! Or smell them....
*ponders this last statement*
/me -- baffled and confused -- sets down his ale and looks around the room, feeling completely caught off guard. He holds up the empty palms of his hands at chest height, doing his best to wave off any appearance of guilt that Anaris's accusations may have seeded.
What? What!? Wha' did I do this time? Whatever it was, it ain't my fault! Scout's honor!
/me swipes the newspaper out of Anaris's hand to get a quick look and hands it back to her with half a chuckle, folding it back to page 6 as a courtesy to Ana.
Oh. This thing? I hear it makes for a great ale coaster.
I don't really know what's goin' on. I been away from home for a bit 'n just got back. Ain't really been 'round the right places to hear the skinny, but I'm sure I'll be hearin' 'bout it from the Vagabond folks next time I stop by their hall. Now don't ya worry ya's purdy l'il head off none now. I ain't set foot inside Freeport in months 'n ya's bags're perfectly safe right over yonder.
/me casually motions to an anomolous pile of fashionable leather satchels in a nearby corner.
See. I told ya I'd take care of 'em. Well... most of 'em.
*looks from Jasyn to her bags, back to Jasyn*
Fine.... I'll believe you this time.... I just thought, maybe that is why you failed to pay off the invoices at the spa....are you even still my assistant? Or is it Njorn now? I've such a bad memory, these illusionist spells...... Anyway, I'll take your word for it regarding the Freeport incidient......This time.
*takes the newspaper from Jasyn, gives a quick glance to Page 6, frowns, and gently tucks the paper into her purse*
I'll just....dispose of this...this collection of sins in print somewhere it cannot be traced to our tavern. The last thing we need is for any Qeynosian to think any of us in Saga read this fluff...
*nods*
Very well then, carry on....
Just then.......a thumping and scratching noise is heard from the largest suitcase sized bag.......
/me arches a brow.
Your... assistant? Is that like a promotion or somethin'? 'Cause I thought I was just a bag carrier...
/me frowns upon hearing some strange noises and turns to search for the source.
Um... did anyone else hear that?
*flings open the door*
*strides through*
*grins wolfishly as it slams shut*
YO!
How're all y'all doin?
*frowns as a large, leather bag in the back of the room ....hops... forward*
Uh....
The scratching and thumping stops. A quiet hush comes over the baggage.....
*looks at Jasyn*
*looks horrified from Jasyn to the large bag to Jasyn*
*raises a quizzical eyebrow at Jasyn*
After a brief pause, a dagger blade punches through the largest case with a loud thump, wiggles, pauses, and slides out of view.....then.....thunp! The blade punches through again....wiggles....and repeats....
/me stares slackjawed at Anaris.
Y'know... I remember how ya used'ta liked to carry around Banco, Ana. 'N just how many of us have seen him again since then? Huh?
/me watches the dagger blade punch through a couple of times with concern and turns back to face Anaris pleadingly.
But... please don't tell me ya found a replacement 'n ya's been makin' me carry around some insane, murderous gnome in ya's bags. Please...? Gnomes AIN'T pets.
After several thrusts through the lined leather bag, each with a seemingly growing sense of purpose, the intensity of the assault on the bag increases dramatically. A frenzy of sawing, pushing and what might be....grunting? ....as a bulge grows against the skin of the case. All present hearing the suprisingly loud tearing sound as the material finally gives way....
*grows concerned and nervous wondering what, exactly, she packed in that bag*
Um.....well, Gnomes ARE pets, Jasyn! Just because sometimes I forget to water and feed my pets doesn't mean they disappear never to be heard of...
*remembers Anya the Fae and Banco the Gnome*
*stares with increasing horror as the tearing material beings to unravel what's inside*
Oh oh.....
/me watches worriedly as something begins to emerge from Anaris's bags, looking away briefly to give Anaris a quick glowering glance.
Um... yeah... whatever it is, I'm just SURE ya got it wet 'n fed it after midnight too...
/me turns his attention back to the bags, barely breathing in the moments leading up to the revelation.
After a stretch of interminable silence after Jasyn's final, withering comment,
WaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaHOOOOOO!
*pounces on the bag*
*rips it open*
*violently shakes out the contents*
The llurker within the bag, who had been peering out of a narrow torn gap from the darkness after realizing so many were nearby, watched with widening eyes as she realized the time for indecision was over. Even as she saw Lyrima winding up her mainspring for a leap, the lurker coiled it's own muscles very tight, it's legs pulled under to allow the maximum leverage and force. In unison, it flexed with all it's might, bursting from the much weakened bag even as Lyrima leapt.
Tucking and rolling once as it hit the floor, even as Lyrima landed on the bag, the lurker came to it's feet.
"Stop stop, and none of you will get hurt oh yes!"
It...she...was a ratonga, mottled brown and whitish fur, with fairly close fitting clothes, glasses slightly askew, whiskers and tail flicking in perfect time, and agitated pace. In her paw a vicious looking dagger, weaving through the air with a mix of anxiety meanace.
"So, you have become rich yes yes?", she said taking in the hall and those around her, "I would thank you for the passage from Freeport oh yes! But of course you did not give it willingly oh no! You would have dotten drunk and celebrated if I had been rounded up and murdered by the militia liek all the rest yes yes? Tavi knows it oh yes!"
Her quickness and attention to details magnified by so much adrenaline, eyes falling on a face or two she had even seen before, Tavi felt fairly sure she might get out of this yet.
"You will all move over to the wall now now please!", motioning with her dagger as she spoke, "Then I can get my things and be on my way yes yes, and none of you need to be stabbed".
*watches in horror as a Ratonga emerged from her large suitcase-bag*
Ah.....uh....... JASYN! You DID go to Freeport and import this...this vermin from there!
Ugh! Disgusting! I hope it didn't touch any of my things!
*gets very nervous when she sees Tavi's dagger and menacing look*
*slowly starts to back up against the wall Tavi pointed at*
*whispers to Jasyn: Really Jasyn? Harboring fugitives in my bag now? If we get out of this alive, you are sooo fired!
*turns to the Ratonga*
Um....miss Ratonga? Welc....welcome to our hall...um....there's some cheese in the kitchen you may have.....um........PLEASE DON'T KILL ME! My bag served as your escape vehicle! I should get immunity!
*panics*
*Eyeing those present as they edge their way to the wall, Tavi slowly takes first ne, then another sideways step towards the exit. Briefly she stops, and while keeping her attention and dagger trained on those watching her, she picks up the paper. Holding it before her in one hand, dagger ready in the other, she allows one eye to glance back and forth briefly as she absorbs the words*
Oh yes yes!....the mighty forces of the Overlord did their master proud! And Tavi would be dead too oh yes! Bu no no....I slipped away....
*addressing the room, but making no particular eye contact, Tavi rambles on, dagger weaving actively before her*
Tavi has done the jobs oh yes....as long as there was gold or shinies to pay. Tavi has done the jobs the Overlord's men have asked, or anyone else. But these fools come oh yes, and Tavi thinks if there is some stinky gnome who let them in it may be true...or if enough shinies maybe...maybe! *wiggles whiskers* They come and they think they burn with righteousness oh yes...and they kill the Overlords men....but do they think think? No! Tavi knows....the punishment of the Overlord comes down down, on everyone who might know something oh yes.....
*momentarily the ratonga fixes her gaze on Jasyn*
Not an easy get away...but Tavi was quicker to think think! Tavi knew...knew when she saw them from Qeynos doing the killing oh yes! Tavi knew what would happen. So I made myself invisible quick quick, and hid in the sewers yes yes! But that would not be safe for long....they would come down looking, and Tavi would be there and the accusation would probably mean torture yes yes? Maybe death.... So Tavi ran oh yes, and got out out to the sea! And when Tavi climbed up through the grass and made for the dark forest who did she find do you think think? The Qeynos killers oh yes....Tavi found them and hid hid on one of their beasts of burden....
*returning her focus to the whole of the room and air about her, whiskers wiggling to detect and change in pressure or airflow, the ratonga continues*
They came back, celebrating the entire way oh yes! They were drunk drunk, and that one was not there! *weaves the dagger tip at Jasyn* But Tavi could not kill them all no no, and even then Tavi hates the miliitia for the ratonga killings yes yes...hates them all. No way to go back back oh no....not even with all their heads....no way. So Tavi waited, and then this one comes, *flicks a glance at Jasyn*, and Tavi sneaks into the bags oh yes...Tavi dose not not want to jump out among all those Qeynos murdering knights no! So she hides in the bags of the one she has seen before yes yes...until she can escape them all. *pauses, tail and whiskers moving in agitation* All the stupid murdering Qeynosians oh yes....think they are all so smart smart and good, with their elf steel and 'just" knights...not want to admit they are killers oh no! So Tavi must escape yes yes, from the Qeynos killers....
*edging ever further from those present, Tavi slowly nears the exit*
So do not not follow me oh no! Tavi will stab you a thousand times if you do yes yes!....and not even get paid....you stay back back! No one needs to get stabbed if you leave me alone yes yes? Oh and those bags yes yes...pretty!
*With a powerful word and swift gesture, a wave of mezmerizing force radiates out from the ratonga, then a brilliant flash of light*
And the eyes of the room clear, she is gone....door ajar, a gentle breeze wafting in from outside.
Goor...
I'da shook her hand I woulda. She's one for our guild, don'cha think?
Uh, the threats 'n stuff aside, course.
She ain't such a bad sort, is she?
/me soon as the ratonga had pointed out that Jasyn hadn't been in Freeport, he elbowed Anaris, glaring at her in a way that proclaimed, "See! I told ya I wasn't there!"
/me curious visitor having finally taken its leave, Jasyn glances from Anaris to Lyrima and back again as if the two of them were out of their minds. Clearing his throat, he pries himself away from the wall and steps over to the swaying door to close it.
/me then casually sidles over to where Anaris's damaged bag had landed, and as soon as he thought no one was looking, he began to discreetly nudge the bag with his foot--quietly sliding it out of open view and into the shadows beneath the nearest table. 'Outta sight, outta mind,' he thought to himself. Satisfied, he puts some distance between himself and Anaris's surgically altered luggage and returns to his ale.
Well, weren't that just one of the friendliest Tonga ya's ever met...?
*stands there, paralyzed against the wall*
*after a long pause finally finds the strength to speak*
I....why......that has got to be the most disturbing thing I've seen since the naked Gnome was going berserk in here... Almost as bad as the Spatula of Doom incident....
/me winces twice--once at the mention of the gnaked gnome and again upon being reminded of Pryce's Spatula of Doom--then chugs his mug of ale to wash away the images.