future Darwin award winners

[tanare]

How do these people survive?
>
>ONE
>Recently, when I went to McDonald's, I saw on the menu that you could
>have an order of six, nine or twelve Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a
>half-dozen nuggets. We don't have half-dozen nuggets," said the
teenager
>at the counter. "You don't?" I asked. "We only have six, nine, or
>twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a half-dozen nuggets, but I
>can order six?" "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six
>McNuggets.
>
>TWO
>I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items, and the

>lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up
one
>of those dividers that they keep by the cash register and placed it
>between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had
>scanned all of my items , she picked up the divider, looking it all
over
>for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she
>said to me, "Do you know how much this is?" I said to her. "I've
>changed my mind; I don't think I' ll buy that today." She said,"OK,"
>and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had
just
>happened.
>
>THREE
>A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and

>pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing,
>she said she was shopping on the Internet, and they kept asking for a
>credit card number, so she was using the "ATM thingy."
>
>FOUR
>I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do you
>need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced
>the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car.
>Do you think they [p o inting to a distant convenience store] would have
a
>battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I
>asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the

>car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I
>suggested, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the
>batteries. It's a long walk."
>
>FIVE
>Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she

>was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of
typing
>paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary
>told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of
>paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five blank
>"copies."
>
>SIX
>I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was
towed
>into the garage. The front of the vehicle w as in dire need of repair,
>and the whole thing generally looked like an extra from "Twister." I
>asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set

>the "cruise control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich.
>
>SEVEN
>My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of

>a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems
>with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of
the
>bank branches who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the
>back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"
>
>EIGHT
>Police in Radnor, PA, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal
colander
>on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The
>message, "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the
>copy button each time they thought the suspect was n't telling the
truth.
>Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.
>
>NINE
>A mother calls 911 very worried, asking the dispatcher if she needs to
>take her kid to the emergency room; the kid was eating ants. The
>dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and should be fine.
>The mother says, "I just gave him some ant killer."
>Dispatcher: Rush him in to emergency !
>
>Life is tough.
>It's tougher if you're stupid!

[Sanei]

*shakes his head and sighs*