Sendiwen's Tale

[Sendiwen]

I look at this page wondering where I should begin. I have not been one to write my feelings but with all that has happened, I feel it will help me move on. I do not believe I can live much longer with the grief of loosing my father, a child that I raised as my own, and my wife. Misery and anger has consumed my soul and has made me flee my friends and family. I must get past this before the darkness consumes me. I think I will start at the beginning. Hopefully.....this will help me see there is some good in this world.

I was born in Felwithe. My parents were hard working merchants with little knowledge in the finer arts of magic or in combat skills. My mother, Silspin and father Yarsarsan saved their money to send me to the Enchanter's guild in Felwithe to study so I could live a better life than they had. I worked hard to make my parents proud. I would say I had a perfect childhood up to the day that changed my life.

My father would go out of his way to help anyone in need. It was this trait that made me so proud of him and also what led him to dissapear from my life. I came home one day after school to find that he had left urgently upon hearing the news that someone in Felwithe had dissapeared and the family needed help in finding him. I was proud of him but to this day I am saddened he has never returned.

In my early adventures is where I found the Elf that I knew I would marry. Her name was Lalinye Starwynd. Seeing her playing with her magical pets and how she smiled when she learned new spells made my heart melt. We became best of friends and spent most of our time with eachother. On one of our adventures to Shadweaver's Thicket is where I got enough courage to ask her to be my wife. I thought I could not be any happier than I was then. How did everything change so much? I just can not figure it out.

I do not remember exactly when Lalinye and I figured out our childhood was connected. Her father was the person that had dissapeared and my father left to look for. I did not know how to feel about that at first but it ended up making us stronger. Lalinye and I had set out on many adventures following the clues that we found. Unfortunately, we never were able to find them or what happened to them.

I thought we could not be any happier until Naeolan entered our lives. Oh my! How time passes when you are absorbed in your thoughts. I shall talk about Naeolan another day. I must seek shelter. Kithicor Forest is a beautiful place but at night it can be deadly no matter what your skills are.

[Sendiwen]

Lalinye and I never had a child. We talked about it but that was about it. Then, a tragedy happened that brought Naeolan to us. His parents were killed and he was sent to live with us. It was not easy at first especially since he was a Wood Elf. I loved him like a son but it took longer for Lalinye to feel any love for him. I am not sure why she did not want to be close to Naeolan at the beginning but she did eventually. Naeolan was the best son anybody could ask for. When he became of age, we sent him to live with the Faydark Champions where he could pursue his desire to become a ranger. He would send letters of his adventures and battles against the orcs. I knew he put his life in great danger but never thought the day would come where we would loose him.

Coming home after battling the dragons in the Halls of Testing was the last happy day I can remember. I had prepared dinner for Lalinye and was waiting for her to come home when I heard the door slam open and saw my wife ghostly pale and crying. She was repeating something I could not make out or I think now I did not want to understand. When I got closer heard.. Naeolan is dead! Mistress killed him! Naeolan is dead! Mistress killed him!....... I think I died that night. Instead of being there for my wife, I was torn with anger and blamed Lalinye for his death. Mistress had haunted her all her life and now has taken Naeolan to hurt her even more. That was the biggest mistake in my life.

Lalinye and I grew distant and seperated. I did not love her anymore and we divorced. I was told that a death of a child is hard to recover from and can cause most marriages to fail but I feel not beeing there for Lalinye when she needed me was the real reason.

I consumed myself in battle. I was marching with the Fellowship leading battles against any evil I could find. Every night as I rested I could feel the anger and misery building. No matter how much evil I killed or how busy I kept myself, I could not get myself to feel better. I knew I was self distructing and decided to leave my friends and Felwithe to try to work this out. I could not go on anymore feeling like this.

I set off with no clear destination. I traveled across Norrath whereever the wind took me. I ended up in Kithicor Forest where I decided to post my thoughts to try to find some way out of this madness. I am now in the Karanas. I think I will head to Odus. The Erudites are an intelligent race and hopefully I will find my answers there. They have a great library where I hope to find some writings that will help me get past this grief.

It is getting late and better start moving. The lions, wolves and bears here would like nothing better than to find me here in the dark. I want to make it to Qeynos before nightfall.

[Sendiwen]

I took the first boat out of Qeynos this morning. It looks like it will be a good day to be on the seas. There is a nice breeze but the seas are not too rough. I have been thinking about what I have written, and I feel this journal is good for me in getting my feelings out. I hope I find my answers in Erudin's great library. I must get over this!

The boat made the first stop at Kerra's Isle and a wave of emotion came over me... I remember hunting the whisps with Lalinye in our childhood.. I found myself grinning as I ran through the memories seeing the place. We had some fun times there. As the boat moved away from the dock, I watched the Island slowly dissapear. I felt sad knowing there would not be any more of those days.

The captain is barking that we are close to Erudin. I hope the Erudites have some knowledge that can help me get past this. I see land.. I better get my things ready before that captain docks. I know from how he left Qeynos and Kerra's isle, he is impatient and I might be heading back to Qeynos if I do not hurry off this boat..

[Sendiwen]

I have searched the library......Nothing.....I am clueless to where I can find help to get me out of this misery.

Lost in thought, a voice called my name. I looked up and saw my mentor, Stofo Olan. He commented that I still did not have my staff of the four. I told him that I was close. Only needed that Shissar and Essence of the Vampire. I told him about my troubles and why I had come to Erudin. He told me that he had lost a child and knew what I was going through. He then went into what he did to move on with his life.

He told me that he has never totally gotten over the death of his son. The Ogres killed his son in the Ferrot when his son got lost in Rathe mountains and accidently headed into that evil place. Stofo told me he must of killed a thousand Ogres but it did no good. The pain and the hole in his heart stayed. He said that what got him through it was his friends. Nothing could replace his son but his friends were there to support him. He thought of the good times and knew that his son had a good but short life. The pain and the hole in his heart slowly healed.

I thought about what he said to me. I saw how I isolated myself from my friends, consumed myself in battling evils, and blamed others for what had happened. I must head back to the Tigers Roar. Stofo was right. My friends will get me through this. How could I be so blind? I must be off!

[Sendiwen]

Stofo Olan had been right. I traveled to the Tiger's Roar and felt my spirit lighten as I walked into the door. I recognized Kanina's voice as she was yelling at someone and heard other familiar voices. Ah they were telling stories. Elloise was standing on the table going into this wonderful story as Kanina slid a pint of Brell's Blessid Stout across the table to me. I looked around and saw many new faces. Wow! I had been gone for a long time. Everyone wanted me to go into what happened but I was not ready to talk about it to them. It was good to be with friends.

We set off for a scavenger hunt. It was a sight! I was the soberest one there as we stumbled out of the Tiger's Roar trying to find the items Kanina mentioned. I think a few had passed out and missed what we needed to find so we had to start over. I already had beaten some ringmail boots off an orc and our group was ahead but it was for fun. I guess by the time we started again we were all to drunk to find anything so we called it off and headed back to the Tiger's Roar.

After a few more stouts, exhaustion hit me and I fell asleep. I woke up feeling better than I have in years. There was a note posted that a few were heading up to the Plane of Valor to fight some golems that were attacking the castle so I headed off. I found my old friend Baers waiting there. The others had not gotten there yet. He was already chewing on himself. Like I told him a thousand times before, that was a nasty habit. Kanina came with some friends from the League of Honour and we set up camp to begin to fight.

It was a great battle. We defended the castle. My friends had gained much strength since I last battled with them. I felt rusty using my magics since I had not fought in some time but we did well. The golems retreated and we were exhausted. We headed back to the Tiger's Roar to celebrate our victory. It was great to be home.

[Sendiwen]

It has been a few days since I have had the time to write down what has happened. It has been great to be back with my friends. I ran into an old friend, Menemas, yesterday. He was telling me about how the frost giants were attacking Thurgadin and was looking for help to fight them off.

We got some friends and headed to Great Divide and saw a group of them heading torwards Thurgadin. We attacked killing off all but one of them and began chasing the coward as he ran back to Kael. Even with Menemas's great speed we did not catch him in time before he entered his base. We called for backup from the Fellowship and attacked Kael.

Giants were falling left and right. We worked our way deep into their base as the giants retreated. The Temple was in sight! We pushed forward then out of nowhere Derakor the Vindicator flanked us. We had to retreat. We regathered our forces and prepared for the mighty giant but we had to retreat again. With our forces weakened, we had to retreat from Kael but with taking out almost all their army, I feel Thurgadin will be safe until we can attack Kael again.

Menemas and I went to Skyshrine in our retreat. Exausted and in safety, I passed out. Waking up stiff from battle, I headed to the Tiger's roar to see what my friends were up to. It felt good to be back with them.

Sitting at a table with my friends, I feel at home. My inner anger is still there but feel that it is getting better. I remember what Stofo Olan said and know he is right. "I will get over this", slips out of my mouth as I write. I must get going. Felwithe is a good ways away and have not seen my mother in some time.

[Sendiwen]

It has been a good visit to Felwithe. I have not been to see my mother in some time, but it seems I had never left. I found her in her store where she was running around getting supplies for her coustomers. I forgot how beautiful my mother was and wondered why she never married after my father dissapeared. She ran over and hugged me and got one of her workers to take over what she was doing so we could find a quieter place to visit. We walked to the pond outside and began talking about all that has happened. It was good to see her again. My mother told me how busy her store is and asked if I could help her. I think this might be fun...at least for awhile and have decided to stay around for awhile.

I have never stopped thinking about Naeolan, but I am now remembering more of the fun times we had and less about loosing him. I feel there is a better road ahead for me.

My mother thinks I should get back in a relationship and already has someone she is trying to fix me up with but I think after my last marriage, I stay single for awhile. Now just trying to keep her out of my business will be the hardest part of staying in Felwithe. Well, I better get back to work.

[Sendiwen]

It has been a restful time in Felwithe with my mother, but I feel the urge to get out and explore again. Now the hard part...breaking the news to her about leaving. She has been so happy with me around and working at her store. I am sure she will be sad but will understand my heart desires adventure. I will break the news tomorrow.

I feel I have gotten over the mourning of the loss of Naeolan. I still think of my son daily but the thoughts do not consume me in grief. I thought I would never get over this and probably would not have if i did not run into Stofo in Erudin. I must send him a letter letting him know how much he has helped me find the way out of my misery.

I will head out to the Tiger's Roar tomorrow after I speak with my mother. I look forward to seeing my friends...it has been too long.

[Sendiwen]

Breaking the news to my mother was not as bad as I thought. She was happy that I was getting on with my life and ready to get back with my friends. After a big breakfast, I set off to see my friends at the Tiger's Roar in Highpass Hold.

It was good to be adventuring again. As I approached the Tiger's Roar, I could smell the sweet odor of the ales and the loud voice of Kanina yelling at some poor traveler. Sneaking in, I gave her a hug and about had my head torn off. Laughing, I said, "You know you liked that!" Seeing that she was now bright red and giving me the evil eye, I knew that I was pushing my luck, and I apologized. Looking around to see who all was around, I noticed the place was quite empty. I asked where everyone was at but found out many had not been around in awhile. Kanina told me that Menemas was upstairs and Baers was running around somewhere. I found Menemas getting his belongings upstairs heading out to aid the Fellowship in Bastion of Thunder. I offered my help and off we went.

I have never traveled to Bastion of Thunder before but heard the stories of the fearless giants that roamed the halls and towers. We met Nightbringer and Vxart along with some other members of the Fellowship and prepared for battle. I can not remember the last time I felt so good and I knew that I would go back into aiding the Fellowship fight off the evil that threatened to destroy Norrath. It was a long and intense battle but we managed to slay an entire wing of them before needing to rest for the night. Norrath will be safer for a short while at least until the giants are able to reform their army.

I found myself the happiest out on the trail hunting with my friends in the Fellowship. It kept me busy and was just what my life needed at the time.

[Sendiwen]

Just when I think things are now better, how much they can go wrong.  Where to start... How about what I remember from the day where it...the "Gnomification" as I now call it happened.

My friends from the Fellowship now had formed another alliance known as the Oasis and were set out to eplore the Plane of Time.  There were over fifty of us set out that day so I used my magics to transform me into a Gnome to allow me to move around better in battle. We headed off in this Plane and faced may evil foes and the last one I remember was defeating an elemental God named Quarm. Zebuxoruk and his master, the  Godess Druzzil Ro appeared and were arguing.  Druzzil Ro spoke to me somehow in my mind and I became dizzy, falling to my knees. I then woke up in Norrath but everything had changed.

All the land looked different and the buildings strange.  The creatures around me also appeared to have changed. Then, I noticed the biggest change I could imagine, at least at that time.  I went to cast a spell to reverse my Gnome illusion and nothing.  I was stuck in the illusion.  My former Koada'Dal body was now stuck in this illusion and could not undo it. 

I saw a great city in the distance and ran for it.  I met some guards and tried to explain what happened but they must of thought I was crazy and took me to a huge tower that I now know as the Mage Tower.  It was there where I found out what I fear would be the worst event besides my Son's death that could happen to me.

Everyone that I have known had most likely died in the Great Shattering or of old age.  The Goddess Druzzil Ro had altered time and sent me to this time in Norrath where everything has changed.  I fell into a depression and was sent to TheBaubbleshire to live, now that I appeared as a Gnome.

Life was hard.  Seeing myself in the mirror every day reminded me of loosing everyone I have known and even loosing my heritage.  I did not get along with the residents since I acted so different and seeing how much everything has changed from my time.

[Sendiwen]

A new hope!  I have been working with the mages in the tower on tracking down the relatives from my time and have found that the Saga clan still lives.  I met up with them and ran into Menemas!  It was so good to see my old friend and still see he was still around.  It took quite some time to convince him that it was me since I looked so different but of course he saw it was me after talking to him . I sat and listened to his stories of what had happened and met the new members of the family.  It was the first good thing that has happened to me in quite some time.  It was good to find my old clan even though much has changed.

[Sendiwen]

Gnomification... I am seeing more problems besides just looking like a Gnome.  I am now finding myself starting to take on some of their habbits.  This is quite maddening when I catch myself doing it.  Yesterday I found myself jumping around a new member of our Clan named Zerzal and hardly could quit jumping everywhere.  I must find something to fix this before I loose everything of  being a true Koada'Dal.

I have started working as a Sage for the Ironforge Exchange.  In my spare time, I research out new spells that possibly can undo the Gnomification that has happened to me.  I am resisting the urge to start tinkering.  I will not do it!  I will not do it I say!  Oh no!  Oh No! ~~~~ I am even starting to write different.  I must fix this.