Twin hardship

[Apollonja]

The door flung open, and Aphellona, the Teir'Dal wizard barged into the small inn room that was Apollonja's home. Loot and Books were scattered all over, on a stool, another Teir'Dal female sat and gave no sign of any reaction.
   "You! It's all your fault! Poems! Romances! Love! Rubbish things! You infected me with this duh! ,,, Aphellona shouted, as she closed in upon her twin sister. It made her even more angry that her sister ignored her.
   "Look at me! I don't want to end up like you! Shattered, broken and crying all day! I said use them, but nooooo, you knew better. And now I started to write poems myself!"   
"How nice for you", came the simple response, still Apollonja didn't care to look up from her book. Aphellona's hand formed to fists, and she gritted her teeth. "Don't you get it?! ,,
"I do. You are afraid. I don't blame you", the ex-conjurer said calmly. And finally turned to her sister. Aphellona stepped back, afraid of her sisters cold eyes, the lack of emotions.
   "What happend to you?"
"I'm not broken anymore. I learned my lesson. Sadly I didn't listened to you when I should have." She smiles cooly.
   "That's not you. Where is the nice and friendly person you used to be?", she asked startled.
"Devoured. Dead. I rose from the ashes, and others will share my pain. It's a nice focus, you should try, too", she returned casually. "So you are wooing someone?"
   Aphellona noded.
"Who?"
   "Wayena."
"Cute bitch, ain't she?"
   The wizard gasped. "She's nice."
"Use her, but throw her away before she breaks you", Apollonja said cooly.
   "No! What'S wrong with you? You desired her once yourself!"
"True. I desired her, for a long time. I was a coward, and when I took my courage, gods punishment stepped into my life, and broke me."
   "Oh come on. She was just another person, even if she drew your attention aw-"
"Silence!", Apollonja thundered, "She opened my eyes! A hard lesson, I learned it. Wayena
will break you. Any woman and any men you dare to love, you trust enough to have your heart
placed in their hands whill shatter it. You hear me? Wayena and I are friends, and I was not
to risk it. Thet's why she was send."
   Aphellona felt uncomfortable. She had difficuties to adjust to what had become of her
sister. She recently returned from Freeport, from a path of purification, like she called it.
"You are so cold..."
   "Call it what you want. It's save for me, it protects me. What's with your strength?
Your big mouth? Dwindling already? She's doing a good job on you, hm? Are her words as sweet
as yours?", she inquired with a devious smile.
   The wizard winced and stepped back. "She didn't answer my poems, but she apologized
for it."
Apollonja stifled a laugh. "Morgy did that, too. She does not care! Now she enjoys
your attention, but she'll get weary. She will stab you. Listen to me, my heart got stabbed
in so many spots every beat burns on my soul. Save yourself. Never give away your heart.
Never..." The both sisters stared at their eyes, and finally Aphellona couldn't stand that
cold gaze anymore. She felt sad and confused, as she closed the door  behind her.
Apollonja took a deep breath and swallowed hard. Her fingers trembled as she opened
the drawer and took out a strand of thick red hair. Wayena had lost it in a fight, cut of by
a blade. She had picked it up, kept it in secret, as she kept her desire. She closed her
fingers around it, as silent tears ran from her eyes. Why didn't she listend to her heart
back then? Why? Crying she sank to the ground, leaning against the drawer. It was to late.

[Apollonja]

Apollonja sat in front of her window. She watched herself in the mirror image, and tears ran from her pretty blue eyes. She had lost herself in pain, suffering, and even more in disappointment. She had always believed in Erollisi Marr, believed in love and that one would withstand anything when there was just someone whom one could dedicate to, and someone who returned this. But what, when just that didn't work out?
   She had been disappointed many times, and yet, never lost hope until now. She had left Freeport, and met Nenwavrianna, a beautiful Teir'Dal Guardian, and shared time and a first kiss. And then, she vanished. Without a word. Months of desperate search to no avail. Her heart was broken, she was suffering, and just when she finally moved on, she ran into Anais, a Teir'Dal wizard.
   They both shared a few month of happiness, but then Anais took her spirit ride. They both had a hard time, but Anais had to, and again, Apollonja was alone in all Norrath. She got her pain eased by a Feir'Dal, Alryscha, a monk. Her relationship was cautious at first, then more passionate. And finally, Alryscha got driven by her lust for adventuring and improving her skills. She lost herself in fighting and travelling, until she forgot the lone Teir'Dal that followed her, that felt back a few step more every day, until she was out of sight.
   Again her heart had been broken, shattered, her trust was misplaced, in the end, other things had always been more important, than her. Years had passed, she had moved on, made a fortune in coin and improved her skills slowly. She felt lonely and longed for the warmth of another girl, the warmth of trust and shared feelings. She was just all to happy to give in to Anastarisa, a Koada'Dal Illusionist, she lost herself quickly in the ever intimate happy woman, until even she got less time.
   She had advanced to a leader among her guild, and dedicated her time rather to her work. Again, her heart that she had placed in good trust into the Highelves hands, had been dropped, shattered, broken. She felt used, and thrown away. Like a small damaged ship on the ocean, she tried to find a save haven from the storm that were her emotions. She tried to win the heart of Summer, a happy and nice Feir'Dal, but she got rejected. As she was rejected by Wayena, a blunt but honest and nice human. It made all more worse, she was heart sick, desperate and sad.
   Angry, furious and then full of sorrow about her bad luck, her miserable fate. But still she was willing to give her heart away. To have good faith that things would work out somehow. It seemed she was in luck, for suddenly a Teir'Dal monk approached her. Apollonja was cautious, she was afraid her heart would be abused again, used and thrown away again. But Morganna kept wooing her. Telling her the sweetest things, that not even Anais had told her, and with all patience, Apollonja finally trusted her enough to open, the place her thorn and cracked heart into Morgannas Hands, to have it caresed, to have it mended. They shared passion and sweet words, thrilling adventures in Kurnak...
   And the, upon her date on the Frostfelldays where she was to meet Apollonjas friends, she vanished. Without a word. For months she kept hoping, praying for her to return, clinching to her love. She got hold of Morganna more than four month later. She told Apollonja about a terrible disease, and she would e back soon. Then she disappeared again. Even more worried, Apollonja tried to get to know where she stayed to get cured, and she found out. She found out Morganna was quite well, happy and enjoying her life with her friends. She had no interest in keeping their relationship going, and had hoped Apollonja would just move on and forget.
   She would never do so. She would never betray a love that way. She was true to the one she loves, and would tell everything on her mind to keep it save. Apparently, she seemed to be alone with her opinion, her way of thinking about love. She felt the searing pain in her chest, as Morganna told her the truth. She felt how her heart shattered, how her dreams fell apart. She cried for days.
   She sat amongst the bloody pieces that were her heart, her dreams and her trust in fate. Never would there be someone honest and true for her. Never would someone treat her like a queen, and never would there be someone, she could treat as a queen in return. Never would someone hold her heart, and never would she hold one in hers. She lived a life of deceive, illusions and elusions.
   She felt miserably, she felt hollow and empty. Abandoned. No friends could mend that wound.

   What did she do wrong? Was there something, she did to deserve this punishment? She decided to review her life; she decided to travel to Freeport, hidden under a hood, in search for answers. Freeport was bad as ever, the filthy streets, the threatening, the harsh words. The smell of blood. Death lured the streets. Thieves and Burglars, Murders walked the street. She remembered how she had been raised here. She, Apollonja, with her soft heart, with all her goodness. How people had played her pranks on her. It was not wrong to escape this place, she would do so anytime again!
   She hated this place, it filled her with anger to see, that a place like this could exist.
And then, something was odd. Of course she had to defend herself more than once. And her spells failed her. More often and even more often. The silent hum she always heard grew weaker, and then it was gone. The song of the elements, the whispers of the elemental spirits, silenced. It would be suicide to summon an elemental here, so she tried to reach for the song, called for the spirits, but there was no answer.
   She stood there, in front of three grinning thugs, and no spell worked. She felt no power, as she worked the gestures, and the thugs laughed at her. Apollonja felt anger in her wounded heart, she felt wrath, and she threw a curse over the men in a rude gesture, and to her surprise, she felt the power flow through her body. Energy crackled at her fingertips, and the thugs suddenly screamed in agony. Wounds opened on their skin, blood and smelling puss dripped from them, they cramped and spit blood, then they stopped twitching, fell silent, died.
   With an ill feeling she fled. What had she become? This was not the power of a conjurer, not even a wizard; this was the power of pain and suffering. The power that had ruled her all her life. Everything the tried messed up, made her feel pain in the end, made her suffering. The thugs had shared her pain now, and why should they remain the only ones? Norrath was a place full of foul evil, that enjoyed causing pain and suffering to others. There would be no harm in a little payback, now would there? Still, this was not the answer to her question. Why did her life took this painful and uneasy path? Why did nothing work out? Did she fail her purpose in following the path of a conjurer?   No, even conjurers could pay back for evil deeps to evil creatures. The filthy streets of pain and fear that were Freeport held no answers. There was nothing wrong in despising and leaving this place. Perhaps answers were to be found in Qeynos after all? She took her journey back, and reasoned what life had brought her. Perhaps she was not fated to be loved, to have a relationship, to be happy and carefree. What answer should Qeynos hold for her? The answer was as simple as this. It was not her fate. Yet she had feelings, emotions, needs. She could not turn them off, or could she?
   Her former lovers betrayal pained her chest, she felt sick and bad. It was the way of the monks to say mind over matter. It all were needs of her flesh, and so they could be turned off. It was just to learn how to do so...

   She blinked, and tilted her head. She had returned to Qeynos and found her twin sister Aphellona was dating Wayena. Wayena, who had rejected her. Wayena, whom Apollonja desired as well. Still. It felt like a knife in the back. What was the difference between her and her sister? Apollonja was always more polite and romantic, while Aphellona denied all these habits and acted blunt and bad. Apollonja knew that her sister was alike, that she was as well a romantic and a nice person.
   She felt betrayed by life again. And found it was much more hard to turn off feelings, than she expected. She had an argument with Wayena. She had threatened her, insulted her. It was clear that Wayena still held no feelings for Apollonja, even before she made that clear aloud. It made her even more angry. On her sister, on Wayena, on the world, her miserable life. It would be a long way to turn off her needs, and become what she was destined to: the cold revenge of righteousness against Norraths evil.
   She stood up and walked over to her drawer, and picked up the strand of red hair. Wayenas hair. Wayena no more. Desire no more. Free yourself of the chains of fate... The strand of hair began to wither, became a grey porous mass and turned to dust. Wayena promised she would do no harm to Aphellona. She believed the now ranger. Should they be happy with each other. What did she care? She had skills to practice. There was lots of powerful evil out there, lots of creatures that were destined to share her pain and suffering.
   She dropped the hand full of dust and left the room.

   Aphellona had watched her sister with worries. She always claimed her sister to be stupid. To romantic, to trusting, to polite. But they were twins. Wayena had made her vulnerable, she felt the romantic in herself, and she wrote poems. She was Apollonjas twin; the more it hurt her to see what her sister had become. Was she destined to end like that as well? Wayena saw something in her, she didn't saw in Apollonja. Yet, they looked alike, and were pretty much alike, that had Aphellona to admit. And still they were different enough that Wayena could tell them apart. She sighed. Wayena had mentioned that they should find a way to hook Apollonja to someone.
And that she already knew someone. Aphellona had no clue whom she was talking about, and not how to do that. Apollonja refused to place her trust in someone. The person would need a thick hide for all the wrath and anger, the insults and bluntness. Even if a person like that existed, a woman at that, it was important to have them.. well ... hook up. Or at least have the woman to claim Apollonja hers and pierce her ice queen thorn coat and enflame her heart again. And be honest with her. The least Aphellona wanted, was her sisters heart shattered again. And then, how much worse could it become now? Wayena would be a good one. But she was with her now, and Aphellona knew that Wayena wouldn't agree, and she herself didn't want to lose the cute ranger, as well. She had her doubts however, but they all turned out to be spectres of no danger. She was travelling now, but Aphellona awaited her return eagerly. Her heart made leap as she thought of the ranger, and she smiled. Together they would do great, and they would fix her sister. A lovely thought of a happy end. She would never admit, but the was a damn romantic, and she loved it!