The Tale of Drevant Argante and Lady Zerzal's Miniature Rujarkian Rabbit.

[Drevant]

It was a warm, yet cloud-covered day in North Qeynos.  The guard was walking it's usual patrol, dodging in and out of street performers singing their tales of heroism, and citizens about their daily business.  Drevant Argante sat at a table inside Sneed's place, his usual meeting place for potential employers.  It had been a long year.

He had lived in Qeynos for many, many years now, and had spent time in the Qeynos Guard, and had seen his share of fighting.  These days, however, he worked as a private investigator, infiltrator, or even treasure hunter for well-to-do mages or priests looking for their share of information, a lost artifact, or even a cheating lover.  It was rough going at first, for many, even in Qeynos, and even for one such as himself, who had spent most of his life serving the city, will not trust a Tier'Dal.  He wished very much that he had not left the military, finding his sense of duty and feelings of worth left unfulfilled.  Even these days it was slow finding work, and he barely had enough to eat, much less pay for his room and board in South Qeynos.  Jobs were few and far between, and he found himself taking even the most unappealing courier missions, just to make a few gold.

He sat with his ale, which he had painfully paid for, digging a couple of silver from his nearly empty coin pouch.  Sneed's was busier than usual that day, though he had no idea why.  Perhaps people's wishes for good times were heightened due to the recently passed festival.  Either way, he found the last remaining table in the tavern and say.  It was here we would wait for a contact by the name of Zandro Elkerton, a very, very old mage who spent less and less of his time at his craft, and more and more of his time waiting to pass in a tavern.  At last, Drevant spotted the old man's stooped figure making his way through the door.  With a little wave, he got his attention.

"Drevant my boy!  Good to see you.  You look thin.  Have you eaten recently?  I had the most lovely blueberry pie at the festival!  I can't stop thinking about it.  Night and day I crave another pie like it, yet I cannot find one!  Oh now, listen to me, I'm going on and on about pie.  Perhaps I'm in love!  In love with a pie!  Imagine that!  I suppose I could find myself an old maid who cooks a mean blueberry pie.  Yes, that would be lovely.  But I digress Drevant!  How are you boy?  I haven't seen you in months.  Have you been ill?  Did I say you looked thin?  You really should try some blueberry pie.  That'll fatten you up.  Surely a Tier'Dal such as yourself can appreciate a good blueberry pie!"

Drevant ignored the quip.  He had no love for this old mage, who had proved treacherous, or perhaps simply senile in some past dealings.

"You best watch your tongue, Zandro.  I am not very happy with you, if you would kindly recall the last job you sent me on."

Zandro scoffed, "Poppycock dear Drevant!  You were paid well!  You were paid well!"

"You waited for me to retrieve your lost divination orb from a boatload of bloody-thirsty pirates, then had the Guard waiting for me when you returned...probably because you did not want to pay me."

"Bah!" Zandro exclaimed, "They were simply guarding my place of rest, my boy.  And besides, you came in the middle of the night!  I answered the door in quite a fright!  And you got paid did you not!" he said, sipping his newly delivered tea.

"You pretended not to know me and called me a dark elf traitor to the Queen." Drevant said, matter of factly.

Zandro nearly spit out his drink, "Well you woke me!" he exclaimed, as if that were explanation enough, "And you got paid!" he repeated.

"No.  I didn't.  I felt sorry for you."

"Oh dear Drevant, are you going all mushy on me again?  A dark elf, getting all teary-eyed!  I have never seen such a thing!  You really should stop crying Drevant.  Less crying, and more poisoning, sneaky, lying, stabbing, murderous Tier'dal bollocks.  Yes, that suits you."

Drevant stared, "No, it doesn't suit me." he ignored the crying comment.

"Pish, Drevant.  Good greif, my tea is getting cold already.  I shall have to order another...ehm, barkeep?!"

"Are you going to tell me the job or not?"

Drevant was losing his patience.  A difficult thing to do, really, as Drevant was very patient, and had learned to deal with people very adeptly in his many years of service.  Yes for some reason, this old man always seemed to get to him.

"Oh yes, dear Drevant, yes, yes.  A simple task really.  But the employer is paying you handsomely, yes!  Many platinum pieces, Drevant!  You like that, do you not?  You are poor, are you not Drevant?"

Drevant ignored the question.  Zandro continued.

"Many, many platinum pieces!  Surely that makes your poisoning, sneaky, lying, stabbing, murderous Tier'dal heart cackle with glee?  And for the simplest of tasks!  Easy money, dear Drevant."

"I am not a mercenary, you cooky, cock-eyed, shrivelled husk of a mage."

"My my Drevant, such barbs.  You were always were good with your tongue.  But not in THAT way Drevant! You are ever the perverted one.  I have never seen you with a girlfriend Drevant, though I can't blame them.  You are a sight for sore eyes, around these parts.  I mean talking!  You always were able to talk more money out of me!"

"You never paid me."

"And you aren't a mercenary, Drevant!  You spent far too much time in the temples for that.  Good grief, Drevant.  What a murderous thug you could be.  I could make use of murderous thugs."

"The job, Zandro?"

"Oh yes, the job.  Well, there is a merchant in Freeport, who sells rabbits.  I saw the most beautiful woman at the temple the other morning!  My goodness!  If only she could make a blueberry pie.  Anyway, I should very much like to buy her a rabbit.  But I am too old!  Too old, Drevant!  I cannot go to Freeport, so I shall send you instead.  You will get me a rabbit, and I shall pay you well."

Drevant narrowed his eyes, "You want me to sneak in to Freeport, risk my life, to buy a rabbit?"

Zandro looked horrified, "Not just ANY rabbit!   My goodness, you are thick, aren't you Drevant.  Drevant, what a silly Tier'Dal name that is.  I do like saying it though.  Yes Drevant, a rabbit.  But not just ANY rabbit!"

"Yes, you said that."

Zandro continued, "A very rare miniature Rujarkian rabbit!"

"A miniature Rujariak rabbit.  Never heard of it.  Have you been into the fairy dust again, sir?"

"Poppycock, Drevant.  You always were an ignorant fool.  A miniature Rujarkian rabbit if the most rare of all the rabbits in all of Norrath!  It must be miniature, you see, to hide amongst the rocks.  Lots of cringle snakes, and wampo rats like to eat them!  Very taste, I would guess.  I do like tasty things.  I'm hungry.  Are you hungry, Drevant?"

"..."

"I will pay you fifty platinum pieces Drevant.  Yes, fifty!  I have not been able to stop thinking about this woman, and I must buy her a rabbit?"

"Why a ra...nevermind.  Fifty platinum pieces?  That is an enormous sum.  How will I be sure you will pay me?"

"Tsk tsk, dear Drevant, you always were the most unkind, untrustworthy Tier'Dal soul.  You have my word!  I must buy this woman a rabbit!  Or was she a woman?  She may have been an elf!  My goodness, I don't know.  Gods know I wasn't look at her ears."

"Fine, I'll take it.  I will have you know, however, that I cannot afford to take on a job like this if you do not pay me.  I'm barely making ends meet as it is.  Please, do not pull what you did last time.  I do need to eat."

"My goodness, Drevant!  Are you begging?  Great Gods.  Of course I'll pay you."

"The contract?"

"Yes yes, here it is." Zandro said, producing a contact on the table. 

Drevant read it once and memorized it.  He had picked up the skill from many years of retrieving information, as well as scouting, and now he could memorize pretty much anything very, very quickly.  Everything seemed in order.  Drevant produced a quill, dipped it in ink, and signed.

"Now Drevant," Zandro said, rolling up the parchment, not waiting for it to dry, "Don't go defaulting on me!  We have a contract!  Please do this for me, Drevant!  You must bring that woman a rabbit for me!  My old heart would not take such a bitter disappointment as that woman going without my gift.  Do not do it to me, Drevant!  Only a Rujarkian miniature rabbit will do!"

"You know I will not default.  When I promise to do something, I do it."

"Promise?  Drevant, you are so very much a softie.  Always going on about duty this, and honor that, promise this, Gods that, good deeds, duty, honor and so forth, over and over until I do fall asleep.  You can put me to sleep so easily dear Drevant."

"And who am I to deliver it to?"

"Oh dear..." Zandro said, fishing around in his robes to the sound of loud paper crunching, "Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear..."

"You don't know do you."

"I do know!"

"Do not."

"Do too!  Ah yes, here we go!" said Zandro, pulling a piece of paper from the mound, "Lady...Zerzal!  Yes, Zerzal, that's it.  Lady Zerzal.  Of Saga!"

"Zerzal, of Saga.  Got it." Drevant said, swiping the contract from the table before collecting his things and heading for the door, "See you soon, Zandro."

And with that, he left, for in the morning, he would go to Freeport.

"Yes yes, on you go."  Zandro said, thinking that he would have the name of the woman when Drevant returned, because for the life of him, he could not remember her real name.

(To be continued)