Operation "Keg Run" Infiltration of Permafrost

[Sendiwen]

Bahladar stumbles into the tavern, covered in blood, barely making it to a bench.  He sits down trying to catch his breath as the patrons gather around him to see what happened. Barely coherant, he mumbles, "Bring me an ale!" and starts to mumble jibberish.  Taking the stein, He drinks it down and looks at everyone.  "It was awefull!  Tha blood!  Lucky none of us died!"  Seeing his chance to get another ale for free, He coughs, and asks for another.  After drinking it down he begins telling his tale.

It began with Jasyn, Boudecca, and mees plannin ta infiltrate permafrost and break inta tha ale room. Tha giants were always causin problems with Qeynos so we thoughts it be nice ta pay em back!  Afta doin some plannin, Jasyn thought it might be betta if we just run tha giants out of tha place and take it fer his Ale storage.  It sounded like a good thing at tha time so we went off with tha thought of havin an Ice castle ta keep our ale in!  Afta seein tha place, Boudeccai and mees thought it would also be a nice place ta be our second home when we got tired of tha heat in Qeynos.

We started killin tha giant lookouts as we approached.  Afta a few fell to us, the otha ran in fear of facin their comrad's fate.  We thought this was goin ta be easy.  We thought wrong!  We made it ta tha big iron doors holdin tha keep secure, and I started bashin at it.  Afta nearlin knockin meself out tryin ta break it down, Boudeccai gave it a good kick and busted it down.  I made a note ta neva be on tha receivin side of tha foot!  well back ta tha story, We found more watchmen and otha giants and managed ta drive them off. The castle was huge, and we could nay find any ale.  We started searchin tha bodies fer intelligence, and we figured out where they be hidin the ale and found out we needed ta get the keys off five captains.  We headed off ta find em!

The captains we were lookin fer were Gryok Deepfreeze, Ador Frigidbeard, Kerhn Chillwind, Teerok Skullsplitter, and tha infamous Commander Keg.  We figured we keep thinnin tha ranks and eventually we get em ta come out and fight us!  We finally spotted Kerhen Chillwind up on tha balcony directin his troops.  We made a charge up tha castle ta make sure he could nay run away, and we found em facin away from us lookin ova tha bloody ice battlefield we just came from. 

Jasyn sent an arrow inta his rump!  Kerhen turned around madder than Boo when I sneak off drinkin, and tha be mad!, and started chargin em.  I smacked his knee when he charged by me and sent em slidin across the ice.  He almost still squashed Jasyn against tha wall, but he jumped ta tha side as the big feller's head smashed against it.    He got ta his feet and started lookin at me!  I was mighty scared I tell ye, but I put up me shield and prepared fer a beatin.  Mainly blockin and tryin ta pick meself up as he bashed on me, Boo and Jasyn managed ta tire em, and finally we were able ta take em down!  Sittin on his belt, was one of the keys!  Ye did nay need ta even ask jasyn ta grab it knowin ale was drivin him tanight!

As Jasyn was gettin the keys, Boudeccai spotted Teerok Skullsplitter on the ramparts. We headed off ta take em down while tha giants were still confused from us killin one of their captains.  We found a bunch of giants protectin em, but we managed ta clear a path.  We could see fear in his eyes as we charged toward em!  As I gots close, he brought his big axe up, and I knew then where he got his name from.  As he started ta swing it down, I jumped ta tha left, and he buried the axe up tha tha hilt in ice.  Seein me chance, I jumped onta his arms and went fer his throat.  He stood up, grabbing me, and I thought I was done fer, but Boudeccai set em on fire.  He dropped me, and as I was standin up, Jasyn drove an arrow deep in tha feller's heart.  He started ta fall in mees direction, but I managed ta roll just in time as he thudded. As we looked fer more information on tha corpse, we found a journal tellin where tha captains are stationed and about where the ale room be at.

Seeing that two of the captains were up at the top of the keep, we headed up the stairs.  Seeing the Protectors, we knew we were gettin close ta tha ale room.  Wha else would ye need protectors fer?  We managed ta clear them out and saw Ador Frigidbeard discussin our fates ta some protectors.  Seeing us, he sent his troops and ran ta get his weapons!

We saw one of the giants was a cleric so we dispatched em first and then started ta kill the protectors.  I saw Ador sneakin around tryin ta kill Boudeccai usin tha same tactics we were usin, but I smashed his ankle bringin his fury on me. Once his guards were down, I drove me sword deep inta his knee.  He dropped his guard, and Boudeccai smashed em ova tha head with er staff knockin tha big lug out. With Jasyn's poisons already at work on em, we knew this feller was done fer so let em finish his prayers and then put em out of his misery.  We took his keys and sat down to regain our strength when all of a sudden I was flying through the air. 

After sliding down the wall and fallin on me head, I gots up ta see what happened.  Wha happened was tha we did nay see Gyrok Deepfreeze sneak up on us. WE BE AMBUSHED!  I pulled out me sword when he kicked me so hard, he sent me flyin up ontop of tha rafters.  Boo tried ta heal me but I was out of er reach.  We had ta retreat!  We barely escaped ta tha docks and regrouped.  He would nay have tha advantage of surprise the second time!

We mended our wounds and headed back ta face Gyrok.  Hopefully he nay went back in hiding and would think we were an easy buch ta fend off!  Tha will be our supprise fer em!  We made it back up ta tha top of the keep and saw em with his friends protectin tha ale room!  We charged!!

We managed ta take down his clerics, but he kept kickin me and sendin me flyin all ova the place.  Luckily he was nay smart and kept runnin afta me instead of goin afta me wife or Jasyn.  Afta a long fight and me gettin Altitude sickness from flyin all ova tha place, we wore em out and took his key.  He muttered one last message ta us,  "You defeated me but Commander Keg will have my revenge!"

Reviewing the documents we found on tha captains, we saw tha commander keg must o been hidin out in the courtyard.  We headed down and went lookin fer the coward! 

We finally spotted em hidin in the corner and made our second mistake of tha day!  Neva underestimate yer opponent!  Thinkin he be a coward, I went chargin in, and he showed me what he be made of!  He sent me flyin across the courtyard and slid off tha cliff unable ta make it back ta Jasyn or M'love!  Prayin they would make it out safe, I swam to the docks ta regroup with em hopefully.

Boudeccai and Jasyn were waitin fer me!  I was verra lucky I nay got us killed and said how sorry I was.  We decided we needed more ta kill em so we sent messages ta Sanei and Felize ta come help us.  They came to our aid and fer tha ale.  Jasyn was hesitant ta tell em about the ale room but he did.  We headed off ta show Commander Keg wha we were made of!

We saw em laughin with his soldiers so we charged.  Sanei jumped with tha feet flyin while I buried me blades inta his rump.  We thought we had em beat but he showed us!  He kicked m'love ova tha cliff I just fell down and then chuckled at us as he wore us down.  We had ta run from him again!

At the docks we discussed Commander keg's ability ta kick us off the cliffs and would nay make tha mistake again.  We came up with a plan and headed back ta get rid of this feller once and fer all!  Hopefully he will take our defeat tha last two times as us being weak and underestimate us!

We saw Commader Keg talkin with his soldiers again and circled around away from the cliffs.  I shot an arrow at em and he came chargin.  He booted me against tha wall then Sanei started kickin em and got em off me.  He almost sent me sprawlin off anotha cliff again, but I buried me blades inta tha ice and barely held on.  I made it back ta em, and we wore em down!  Commander keg fell ta his knees lookin puzzled.  Falling down, he started laughin and told us we had a supprise if we thought we be takin any ale from Permafrost today.  We looked at eachotha trying ta figure out what he be talkin about, and took tha last key we needed ta enter tha ale room.

We headed back up top and opend the door ta tha ale room.  Jasyn was lookin like a kid in a candy store thinkin he had found the everlastin lollypop, but we were in fer a supprise.  Commander keg had reasons ta be laughin.

Facin us was King Drayek with his army of Ice golems and wolves.  Hennac was able ta join us but we still knew this was goin ta be a fight so we tried ta sneak in ta take some of tha ale without bein noticed.  The plans of makin this place Boo and mee's home and Jasyn's Ale house was lookin quite a bit smaller so takin a bit of ale sounded mighty good.  Sanei went in, but he was spotted!

The ice golems rushed us, and I barely got them on me before they killed Boudeccai and Felize.  Sanei managed ta get back to us, and we somehow was able ta kill em all.  King Drayek nodded at us in thinking we were worthy adversaries and then sent his wolves on us.  It was a long fight but we took em down one by one until all tha was left was tha king and us.  We did nay charge knowin we needed all the strengh we could get but the king had otha ideas.

King Drayek came runnin at us before we could regroup!  Sanei got em mad enough but we were verry weak from tha previous fights.  We still gave it all we had, beatin, poisonin, and even a little cussin!  Well tha cussin was mostly me, but ye know stand in tha way of me ale and ye goina have a few choice words with me.  We saw tha king was too strong fer us, so we had ta run.  So close ta tha Ale but so far away!

We will go back anotha day with more forces.  It be said tha king would take four groups ta bring em down so we were happy ta do as well as we did.  One day we will have permafrost as Jasyn's  ale house!  I give a toast fer tha upcomin battle when we show tha king wha we made of!  *raises his ale to the crowd around em*

[Lyrima]

"To Jasyn's Ale House!"

*raises glass in toast to a well told story*

[Sagacity]

An excellent tale and a worthy!  I'm sorry to have missed the beginning of the adventure, but glad I could join for the end!

[Jasyn]

Nah.  Beginnin' was just a lotta listenin' to some strange fella (who was taggin' a long with us) yellin' "Pet's crazy!  Taunt like the wind!"  I reckon that means Bahl was really windy that day.

The end was when it got really interestin'.  There was that one part in the beginnin', though, where Bahl got stuck at the top of a wall.  That was... uh... fun... 'n stuff.