[TOR] Past transgressions

[Jhared]

[OOC: Hello! Here is some of the stories I have worked on for some time now. These three stories tie together and are narrated by my character Jhared Caeyrn. The first of the three That dreadful day takes place on Coruscant during the Sith invasion, the other two a couple of years later. Well uh, hope you can enjoy my god awful writing. ]

[Jhared]

That dreadful day

When you face a Caeyrn it is often a feeling of fear that fills you, because you know that he will do everything in his power to let that exact emotion rule you. They have no moral boundaries and all they live for is to terrify you, the enemy. To make you fear them, the leashed monsters of the Republic, so they can quell and destroy you utterly.

But that was not my father, it was everything but him. He had been a hero, a man who always calculated the lives of the innocent into his strategies and made sure if nothing else, they would remain unharmed, no matter their side. A man who lived not by codes of fear and oppression, but compassion and freedom, so intent on proving that even if he was a Caeyrn he could be so much more and he was; Marcus Caeyrn was a beacon of hope for many, a light in the darkness of total war.

Myself I grew up wanting to be like him, a hero, completely out of the Caeyrn norm. Perhaps not surprising that as a boy your father becomes your inspiration, it is childish intuition and I soon learned the truth, I could not be my father. He was raised to be a strategist, an officer sitting at the back of the lines directing the course of the battle, and I a trooper. A frontline jarhead. It did not stop me though, I might not make big decisions, but I could do my best to save people by myself.

They were not home often, my loving mother and caring father, but it was to be expected from the war. My brother, sister and I were all raised in the typical Caeyrn fashion away from conflict. Until that dreadful day when the conflict came to our doorstep.

The Sith had hit the District with tremendous force, and despite the else formidable defenses the outer sphere had broken, squads split up and made into easy pickings for the enemy. The president of the Caeyrn Corporation, the supreme leader of the family, had been assassinated. Even then I knew the Sith did not have it easy regardless of the might they exercised here, it was not a mere residential or commercial district they were up against. Here, everyone was armed, even the servants, it was thousands of soldiers and double the amount of militia. The Sith had stepped into a warzone, and it showed.

Myself I was to have stayed at the academy with the other students, but I disobeyed orders for the first of my life. How could I simply stay there when my home was getting torn to pieces? Escaping from the guards had been difficult, it had even been easier to get a sniper rifle and body armor if that was to tell anything, but I was out on the field. I could not allow myself to group up with the soldiers or militia, I knew such would be a fatal mistake; they would discover your true identity, disarm you and detain you, in other words use resources the family was not really able to spare.

So I snooped around on the darker sides of the buildings, picking Sith down here and there, though never killing, I just could not bring myself to do it. Simulation was one thing, the reality quite another, at least wounding usually put them out of combat. I was not sure why, a Caeyrn should have an easy time doing it. At least in theory.

By fate or random dumb luck I found my father and mother fighting on a landing pad, trying to make their retreat to the corporation headquarters. I had found a nice position at an abandoned guard post, neatly elevated above the fighting and with sufficient cover and darkness to hide. Still, I was at such a distance that any talk was blocked out by the deafening noise of battle elsewhere in the district, hell I actually had to look through my scope to have any decent view of what was going on down there.

They were making their way slowly through a large number of faceless Sith troopers and droids, but those paled in comparison to the escort my parents had. I counted at least a dozen of them in their soulless black armor, a helmet shaped as a hood and their faces hidden by inhuman metal masks. They were created to inspire fear in the enemy, men who had no moral boundaries to fulfill the goal given to them. I recognized them instantly by the suits, they were never used in public, but this was dire times... At least a dozen from Cortosis Fist escorted my parents; they should have been able to crush all Sith resistance easily. Should have been.

It was somewhat easy for me at least, just sitting up there in my cover following my parents through the scope, it was only then I realized what was wrong in the picture I had of them in my head. It was not that my father had the usual trooper attire on and seemingly ordered the Fist to brutally mow down the Sith while trampling over the corpses of the dead. It was not the fact the Sith seemed less ruthless and cunning in this slaughter. The fact my mother was killing one Sith trooper after the other with a lightsaber, that unsettled me, it unsettled me a lot.

How was it even possible? From what I had known all children they knew were born from jedi were taken to the temples and raised there, it seemed however that no matter what happened people would always find ways to avoid the specific authority on the matter, but I never expected that from my own damn parents! Was she even a jedi though? Or had she just stumbled on the saber – no she was far too graceful with it, she had to be one! How was that even possible? I tried to ignore that question, but it crept back.

Biting my teeth together I observed the field again, gulping as one from the Fist gutted a man open with a pair of cortosis blades attached to his arm – the screams no doubt muffled by the echoes of war in the distance. I was not used to death back then, I am not even sure I am now, but it shook me, especially in such a fashion, even through the inhuman mask it seemed as if the man enjoyed killing. Enjoyed it! It was insanity! But I digress, the Fist has always been the worst of the worst, and that day was no exception.

It was then it happened, my parents had made it about halfway through to the ship, and I heard a clear distant buzz in the distance, turning my head from the scope I saw what it was: a transport flying across the city in an immense speed, slowing down only to slide screamingly across the landing pad, crushing Sith and Caeyrn alike, stopping where I had first spotted my parents. Even through the scope I could feel people turning silent down there as the door to the transport opened, red light flashed forth from the mist and darkness as ten black figures charged out on the battlefield.

I am not usually one to be frightened, but I admit that ten Sith warriors scared me quite a lot, more so because I had never seen so many gathered in one place before. I was afraid for the fate my parents there and rightfully so, they were surrounded and outnumbered. I bit my teeth together again to keep myself from panicking; I had to help them instead of just watching, but it was difficult to pick out any of the Sith while they charged, even more even they finally clashed with the Fist.

Right then I would have called it a foregone conclusion, the Fist would die instantly, but the Sith, like myself, had not counted on actual cortosis armor. Two of the Sith were cut down as their lightsabers shut down, the rest quickly adapted however, throwing the Fist around and using force lightning instead. Even while they were pulling closer to their escape they were hard pressed, even with all their training and advanced equipment the Fist just could not withstand such overwhelming force. When the first from the Fist died I noticed my father looking over to my mom, frowning, she did not seem to notice though as a Sith had locked her in a duel. Carefully I aimed a shot at the back of the Sith and pulled the trigger, blinking twice in surprise that I actually hit and my mother decapitated the Sith. She looked almost scary with the flaming red hair and utterly determined face; I probably would have been somewhat terrified of her if she was not my mom.

It seemed however that my intrusion did not go unnoticed by the Sith, one of them stopped mid-action and glared with those yellow eyes, slowly turning his head right at my position. If I did not know better I would say the Sith had smiled at me, maliciously even, mocking me, then simply turned to a slow walk towards my parents. Whoever that was he frightened me more than the other masked Sith, the sheer arrogance and delight in death creating most of it.

The troopers were all dead now, the amount of corpses was sickening and likewise most of the Fist were dead too, one remained until the smiling Sith used the force to tear open his armor and rip out his heart, pure and utter malevolence. Now my parents stood alone against three Sith, it was a wonder they had survived this long, though they were close to the transport it was not close enough when the Sith surrounded them.

I picked out a target, the smiling Sith had to be the leader and he was going down, I aimed for the head as the three Sith charged in upon them. One of the Sith was shot down by my father in a swift move I did not think possible from him, he looked desperate though, not at all like the man of complete certainty he used to be, but also something else when he looked upon the smiling Sith, familiarity. He knew the Sith, personally. Swiftly I tried to pick the leader down but the trigger on my rifle would not move, I hammered on the trigger with my finger but it would not budge a millimeter while he streamed in mercilessly to take advantage of an opening in my mother's defense as she had cut down another Sith. One stab in the heart was all it took to end her resistance, and mine, and that of my father.

I did not believe what I was seeing and I could not bear to watch it, why would the trigger not move? It had worked fine a second ago, why had the rifle stopped working when it mattered the most? Right then when I was wondering in my grief a chill ran down my spine as I heard the distinct sound of a lightsaber being ignited behind me. Could I in my desperation to help my parents have let a Sith sneak up on me? I ponder that now, at the time I was quivering in fear and sorrow as I turned my head.

True enough, a black robed and masked Sith, however it never got to land a blow to my initial surprise, another lightsaber was ignited and not the fraction of a second later the Sith was decapitated. As the body fell a human in a brown robe replaced it, the only thing I really got to see of his face in the darkness was a gray-white beard. He shut down his saber and signaled me to stand up, I did without question. "Listen boy, you need to get to the inner sphere of this district. This one is getting overrun. Move."

Still in utter shock I turned to walk towards the speeder bike I had taken earlier, obeying his wishes was the least I could do when he had saved my life. One thing however made me change my mind; it was when he suddenly spoke. "I am sorry Marcus; there was nothing I could have done."

Marcus. That was my father's name, and my question just blurted out without much thought behind it. "Who are you?"

The jedi blinked, maybe in surprise or simply due to blunt nature of the question. "I am Jedi Master Remann, now get a move on."

I did, I got back to the academy and there I heard my father had assumed command of the Caeyrn forces. First he initiated the 'Retribution Code', one that literally doomed anything in the outer sphere of the district for the simple reason that it razed it to the ground in a fiery hell, and the ground on Coruscant is a long way down. Next the terror gas was deployed on the field. On Coruscant. Those two moves turned the tide in the Marcelian District, but the war was lost, the treaty had already been signed and yet my father refused to let the Sith run. All prisoners were executed after lengthy interrogations, and the rest hunted down like animals. It was exactly what a true Caeyrn would do.

Many Caeyrns praised my father's success at fighting off the Sith and as a result he was instituted as the new president of the Caeyrn Corporation. I however was filled with doubt, I thought I had known my parents, but after that day it was apparent that I knew next to nothing about them, all my life I had wanted to be my father, but now I really did not. He had become everything I did not want to be.

I wanted to know who my mother really was though, and my father, but he in particular refused to tell anything, and got more furious for each time I asked. Two year later when I had finished my trooper education I got a chance to know more though, I went to see this mysterious Jedi Master Remann.

[Jhared]

A visit to the temple

The Cayern mindset is shaped from the doctrine; a long list of rules, beliefs, and behavioral patterns that all from the family must obey, uniformity grants us strength. It all stems from the simple sentence 'we are the worst', but despite what the doctrine teaches it has in fact very little to do with the Republic. Today the Caeyrns would call themselves the leashed monsters of the Republic, a weapon of fear that has no remorse. The latter may be true, but the first is certainly not. The Caeyrns are not something I would consider leashed by its master. They are almost autonomous, acting as they please in the name of the Republic.

Something you realize when you leave the Marcelian District is the extreme swap in way of life compared to the rest of Coruscant. The Marcelian District is organized beyond belief, not a move goes on that is not regulated, stores are nonexistent and replaced by large supply depots , buildings are heavily fortified and makes no effort to hide it. It is exactly as a Caeyrn, heartless, practical and always ready for war. It is as a separate culture within the heart of the Republic.

It had been a little over two years since I first saw this Jedi Master Remann that I found the time to visit and more importantly talk to him. I suppose I was actually lucky that the man could find time with the short notice I left him, but it was the best I was able to do. It was never until after you came through the academy that you knew where you were to be deployed and when exactly –'if' was never mentioned funnily enough, the family made sure of it like everything else.

I remember waiting ten minutes for my transport to the Jedi Temple, worrying that it might not come; surprisingly it had been more difficult to get a taxi than actually arranging the meeting. When it finally did come, things got a little awkward; I, the seemingly stalwart trooper in the black off-duty attire of the Caeyrns, met a rather unusual longhaired and dirty human individual. He waved me over and I got in the other front seat of the cab.

"Never did pick up a Caeyrn before, where you goin'?" He flashed a smile of yellow teeth, not knowing how true his words were in general. I had personally never been in a taxi before, but this was not an on-duty trip so I had to arrange it myself.

"The Jedi Temple." I had long since abandoned trying to make my voice anything but cold and facial expression anything but the typical metal-hard Caeyrn expression, it was too difficult and too much of a bother. Even today I just cannot do it, smiling never suited me anyway I guess.

"Right, strap yourself in and we'll be there in no time, I guarantee." Another grin I did not return, in fact he did not get a reply at all as we made it through the district to the free part of Coruscant. The devastation wrecked during the assault done by the Sith a couple of years in the past still left its scars in the form of ruins and rubble, but the sheer organization and speed in which the Caeyrns had rebuilt was staggering even to me, not to mention the immense amount of security ready to shoot down any opposition.

Perhaps the driver noticed too as sweat started to drop down his forehead, his eyes started to shift among the guard posts, he gulped and tried to straighten his face to hide discomfort. All the usual signs of being nervous, I did not blame him back then nor do I now, you do not exactly want to be trapped in the Marcelian District if the family do not think you belong there.

More minutes passed in silence, it did not bother me, in fact I rather liked it as peace and quiet was something I rarely got and so I treasured it. Apparently, though, the taxi driver did not treasure it as much or his nervousness finally got a hold on him. Maybe both. "So, uh, why are you taking a cab? Don't your family have grav-cars of their own..?"

"This is not a trip of duty." I hoped it was enough of an answer, probably was not though. The guy just tried a shaky smile and went with a wondering "Oh..." followed by an awkward "Right..." and finished with an insincere "I see..."

Another few moments of calm and we came to the Marcelian District border control, where the authority of the Caeyrn family ended and the chaos tic nature of Coruscant unfolded. Several heavy guns were placed at all exits and entrances, I had never exactly seen them used, but I knew they would even blow the trains sky-high if they tried anything. The fellow stopped the grav-car at a clearly indicated line created by a hologram. I was pretty sure that crossing it the slightest would cause some sort of extreme ramification and everyone was well aware of it too.

"Vehicle registration code please." A seemingly female and yet computerized voice buzzed through the radio on the car, the taxi-driver eyed the guns a moment before answering. "One-two-six-four-nine-three-two-two-zero-seven."

It took a pair of seconds before the answer was given by the computer, it sounded especially odd in that cold mechanical voice. "Please pass and have a nice day on Coruscant!"

The driver visibly relaxed as soon as he gotten a building or two outside of the district, and his tone certainly got a little more calm. "You know what the point is for having those guards scare the crap out of people like me, eh?"

"Yes." I said, perhaps very blunt even for me and decided to elaborate. "It's for protection."

"From who man? It's not like us common folk are going to try and harm you." The driver went on, perhaps I really did not elaborate enough.

"Not against you, for you." I turned to look at the ever bustling traffic of the city, why did people sometimes automatically assume that everything they feared was out to get them? I suppose infamy did not help much either.

"Really? Do honestly believe that yourself? The whole 'we're monsters fear us' shebang? Honestly I do not think the Sith care all that much myself." The man went on, and even if I knew it was not intentional it did feel like a stab. Being the worst had strangely never really appealed to me and since I learned my mother had been a jedi I had discarded it entirely, at least for myself. Problem was that when you were brought up with the Caeyrn doctrine, it was very difficult to defy it, like fighting your instincts or worse even. In other words I may think the thought, but going against the doctrine... I was not sure if I had it in me or got it now even.

"It's not that you are all bad. You know this fellow... Marcus Caeyrn, damn hero. Saved my brother back at Gulhim Six during the war. Says the man refused to back down before the Sith, threw them all the way out of the system outnumbered ten to one, but I think he is over exaggerating on that part..." He went on when I did not answer. Did he know who my dad was? I do not think he did, but it did spark my interest. I never really heard much of my father's victories or his deeds and since mother died he refused to even talk about it. "I mean... Ten to one. He's good, but not that good."

"You know what happened there?" I asked, hoping the question would not make him suspicious.

"Don't you know? First time people ever really heard of him. As the story goes, the one my brother doesn't tell that is, he was just this local commander of the planet's defense. The Sith were pushing forward throughout the systems, taking them as if on a winning stroke in a game of pazaak. Until they came to Gulhim Six that is.

They hit a wall at that place. Usually their initial bombardment or arrival had the system surrendering to occupation. I don't know if that Marcus was stubborn or courageous, probably both, but I do know he did not back down just because he had a gun to his face. Did not bother the Sith I think, probably intel had already pointed out the commander was a Caeyrn...

So after that the Sith decided to make a planetary invasion, throwing in wave after wave of soldiers. Hundreds of thousands, enough to bloody well slaughter the entire population if they wanted – I think. But the Marcus fellow had the natives rise up in droves – he had guns but not enough hands to fire 'em you see. Overconfident the Sith marched right into a damn hell of resistance.

Marcus didn't bother hiding in the city, he threw everyone out on the vast fields. I'm no strategist, but it seems dumb to me, outnumbered and gunned, but he damn well succeeded. Lead the charge himself even. The first wave of Sith dropped their guns after barely a few hours of fighting and surrendered."

"He led the charge?" I asked, striving not to sound too curious. I had never really expected that from him. Always imagined the strategists to be in bunkers while planning every move their army made not... Throwing themselves into the fray.

"Yeah, that was what I was told anyway. Might be too glorified, eh. You can't really be sure with these stories, man, it's not like 'em fancy smancy intel reports from various agencies. Just a story. People want hope and big goddamn heroes, not realistic encounters, eh." The driver answered with a wry smile. Apparently the talking was calming him down. "We're almost at the temple, so I will just round up the story for you... The Sith kept coming in droves and every time they did Marcus kicked them right in the balls and sent them crying home their Emperor like a bunch of Twi'lek cheerleaders."

Not exactly the ending I was looking for, but still it had killed the awkward silence and time. The driver led in the taxi by the landing pad and opened the door, paying him off with a few credits I walked to what I thought was the entrance to the temple ruins. Like almost anything on Coruscant the Jedi Temple was massive, incredible the Sith had managed to raze it in such short time, and even more that the Jedi had even attempted to rebuild it. I could not spot this Master Remann throughout the entire mass of construction workers, so I turned to my second best option – asking one of the locals.

Getting past the vast stream of people I made my way into the temple, it was a stark contrast to the streets – the quiet and not to mention actual personal space if that was of any value. I scouted for a jedi that did not seem all too busy when a voice rumbled from behind me.

"Jhared! There you are." I recognized the voice, but how had he managed to sneak up on me like that? As I turned around an almost entirely white-haired fellow greeted me with a kind smile. The beard still had some grey strains in it, but they were waning.

"Master Remann. I am sorry for the sho-" I started respectfully but never quite got to finish as he led off down one of the halls.

"Not to worry, boy. It is not always you have all the time you want." He said in an odd mix of merry and lecturing tone. The jedi master consequently slowed down as we reached beyond the entrance to the simple, and instead walked around in the broken corridors. "You wanted to know about your mother, correct? At least that is what I can decipher from your message."

It took me a moment to retort, did he think my message was lacking? It had time and everything. "It was not sufficient?"

"Oh, very sufficient, but I think coordinates was a little more than strictly necessary. Perhaps that is one crucial thing your family forgets to teach hmh?" He babbled on, raising an eyebrow. "Forget to teach you how to be a person, not just a weapon poised to strike."

"So you knew my mother? She was a jedi, I saw it. You don't just steal a lightsaber and make moves like that." I perhaps not so subtly tried to steer the conversion towards what I wanted.

"You knew her too, it is not special feat, but yes Helene was my apprentice before she became a knight - that is true. One of my best even, like Teren." He paused for a moment, pondering I suppose. "What can I tell you that you do not know already, Jhared? Your mother was a patient, loving and talented woman."

"I know but..." I struggled with the question somewhat, emotional attachments was never something I ever really learned to deal especially well with. A Caeyrn buried it. "How can she possibly be a jedi? I know the rules, and they count even for Caeyrns."

For some reason it did not seem to please Master Remann all that much, the merry attitude disappeared as a couple of moments passed in silence. "It seemed to be the best solution."

The blunt and seemingly unrelated answer caught me by surprise. "What..?"

"How much do you know of your father, Jhared?" He went on a bit more inquisitively. Well I knew a lot, most of his battles and some of the strategies he had deployed, but how was this important..? "I mean, truly, as a person."

It was my time to think now, his question made me doubt how much I really did know, Caeyrns did not talk to their parents like normal families because all Caeyrns were your family and thus who gave birth to you was somewhat irrelevant. You did not grow up in an academy opposed to a family environment; it was not very often parents bothered to contact their children once given to that place. Of course mine had been different. "He was not a Caeyrn, not really."

"True and false. When I first met your father on Gulhim Six my goal was to learn about your family, in fact that is still my goal. It was my former apprentice Teren who introduced us; apparently the two were already good friends." Gulhim Six again? The first time people ever hear of him? This was a tad odd. "He wasn't too unlike you in fact. Not really wanting to be a Caeyrn, but still following your family's doctrine because he felt he had to."

"Ho-"

"It is obvious when you have spent so many years researching your kind. Brainwashing children before they can even talk. In any case I struck a deal with your father, I promised to help him with getting rid of the doctrine and in turn he told me much of the Caeyrns – even sometimes without realizing it. In a way I actually learned as much from helping him as I did from the information he gave me." He paused and grimaced a moment. "But your doctrine has some dangerous effects to it when broken down. Caeyrns never truly learn to be people. You do not learn the emotional response to loss for example – you simply ignore it. You bottle everything up via the doctrine. A psychologist would give you a variety of mental illnesses.

In other words as I travelled with your father I started to reach unexpected conclusions. For one, he was unable to accept deaths of innocents on his watch; whenever a number of them did not make it out alive he blamed it on himself. I of course tried to teach him to not do such, but it was in vain – I see that today. His first victories were impressive, but they started to get bloodier. Your father could not accept the lives of citizens being lost to the Sith so he threw his soldiers into the fray instead. He still won, yes, but at the cost of so many more lives."

"So are you saying he should have just have let them die?" I asked, somewhat in disbelief. How could that possibly be right? My dad would not just throw lives away.

"No. I am saying he should not let his emotions rule him - sometimes a small loss of civilians may be necessary to save as many as possible. Jhared, strong emotions twist the mind and the Sith prey on your weaknesses. Not only Jedi must be on watch from the Dark Side, boy." Remann paused, and sighed. "It was after that I found out about him and your mother."

The walking stopped at a balcony and the jedi master scowled at the endless city of Coruscant. "I ignored the potential danger of it; I was too focused on my studies – so dedicated to my duties to the Order that I forgot what was right in front of me. Somehow along the way Marcus became less of a person in my eyes and more of an experiment – could I undo the damages your family had done to him? Could I show him another way?

When I said you were both right and wrong earlier it is because I succeeded partially, but taking half a step is not quite enough when you stand at a canyon and the gap between the two edges is a whole. Your father could not abandon the Caeyrn Doctrine, he began mixing it up with jedi codes and other things I tried to teach him. It perplexed me but my conclusion was found on this specimen. Failed. "

"You're telling me you purposefully broke my father down to a point where he was mentally unstable? What is wr-" I snapped, unusual for me really, but it did make me somewhat angry. What was he thinking?

"No. Never intentionally. But I am guilty nonetheless, I had no idea what would happen – I was young and foolish." He sniffed, the answer did not quite satisfy me, but I let it rest. It was no use to complain like a child when the man was being upright and honest. "When I learned Helene had become pregnant things got even more complicated. The Jedi Order did not know, I kept it secret from them while I helped your parents decide what to do with your older brother, and perhaps other children to come. There were two options and either was not quite desirable. On one hand they were given to the Jedi Order and probably assassinated by your family or we never informed the Order and simply gave them to the Caeyrns.

So why did you not get raised at the Temple here when your mother was a Jedi... Because of your father and your last name." He shook his head. "Either your elder brother would have died before he could talk or he would be raised by his potential murderers. Neither of them scenarios I would put a child through, but it did seem like the best solution. So I helped covering it up, made sure the council did not know. Three times in total. Hardly makes up for what I did to Marcus in my ignorance, but I do not think much will. Other than that, there is not much I can tell you about your parents that you do not already know, Jhared."

He had felt bad for something he should not even have considered in the first place and thus decided to help my parents? One part of me wanted to beat the old man senseless for what he had done to my dad, but another one knew it would probably not end out very well. I chose to be a Caeyrn and ignored my emotions, then went on to the last subject. "That night... where my mother died... My father recognized her killer. Did he have any enemies who would be capable of this?"

"Many, but I am certain that was not the answer you were looking for..." He answered and then went silent, so long in fact that I was about to ask further right before he continued. "I will tell you, but for a price. A promise to be precise. Promise me that you will not go off on some misguided hunt for vengeance or justice."

I blinked, did he believe I would, or was it simple pre-caution? Hunting would not do me much good, even if I wanted to kill that Sith – The Smiling Sith as I had dubbed him for two years now. Regardless it was best to wait until he showed himself. "I promise."

"Good. We are going off-world-"

"What? Can't you just answer me?" I broke the man off, slightly confused by his sudden decision.

"I am, but not here. Besides some things are better shown." The jedi master turned to leave, almost seeming to be in a rush now. "Come on. You will be back before your deployment."

Off-world now? Light, jedi were strange people – or it was just this one Remann. No matter my opinion on the matter I was soon flying out into space.

[Jhared]

Friends and foes

Friends. I had never imagined my parents to have friends. To me the word is foreign, like speaking another tongue you did not grow up with. Caeyrns did not have friends, not exactly. They may pose as such if they can gain from it, but never loyal or devoted to their friendship. To a Caeyrn it is more like having a contact, someone useful you know but do not actually care about. I am not sure what to think of it, is it possible to have friends? Or are people simply always out for their own gain? At the time I was not sure and even now I am in doubt.

Master Remann and I had taken a ship off world to a planet called Jurelden, nothing more than a small colony in independent space. A jungle world, mostly green, blue and with a bustling metropolis in the middle of it – the old jedi however was steering the ship to the jungle. Strangely  the man seemed to know exactly where in that green mess he was going.

"Teren was a good apprentice, almost as good as your mother. Brother and sister those two. I took them on at about the same time." Remann's voice bellowed from the other chair in the cockpit all of a sudden, it had all been silence until then, but the jedi seemed ready to talk now. The old man grinned. "I think the council had something to complain about that day. Wise old fools."

I sat silent, lowering my brows. Teren had never been mentioned, and especially not as a brother or... uncle. As far as he knew he had no family on his mother's side of the family. "Teren and your father bonded immediately, an equal will to save the Republic and its people. It was even Teren who suggested I should help your father. Cold as you Caeyrns are."

The jedi suddenly seemed to set up the pace of the ship as his eyes furrowed. I was about to ask why when a large Imperial Cruiser appeared at planet orbit, fighters, bombers and troop shuttles swarming out of it towards the defenseless colony. "They cannot be helped, Jhared."

I closed my half opened mouth with my protest having been denied even before uttering it. Giving the cruiser another glare I decided to give the man a question. "So we're just going to ignore it?"

"Yes. With just the two of us we cannot truly change what is to happen here. Besides we came here for a different reason." The jedi answered peacefully, I was not sure how he could do it with an Imperial invasion hanging over his head.  I tried to keep my calm as the jedi continued his chatter. "Teren was always a rebellious one, he disagreed with the council on many levels – like me. Made his own life very difficult within the order, more so with Sith wanting to kill us."

The old man frowned as he lowered the ship to land.

"We are being followed. Two ships." He said simply. "We will have to hurry."

Remann put the ship down on a relatively open space in the jungle, he was out his chair almost before I got a good look at the area. There was a house, not very visible in the green, but it was there. Deserted though. "Come on."

"... Darth Valkarn is his name, the man who killed your mother." The old jedi went on as he led me to the house. He knew where he was going, that much was evident. I wondered what he wanted here, and even more what Teren had to do with this... Valkarn, if anything. The name made me uneasy. I was already starting to hate it. "A terrible man. Not anywhere near as bad as Darth Malgus or Darth Jadus, but still he is not to be underestimated. He has been hunting your father for more than twenty  years now. Obsessed with it even."

I had heard the name before, but only in mention, it was not exactly infamous as the other two. But I had never actually figured it would be that smiling Sith, it had just been another one of those faceless villains I never seemed able to portray other than as mere names. Malgus or Jadus had no actual meaning to me... Now Valkarn did. Remann shot a worried glare at me, he saw right through me. "You have to control your anger and hate if you do not want to end up like Valkarn, Jhared."

I somehow wish I had not given him that promise earlier, now that I had a name I wanted to chase this man down and kill him. No not just kill. Something worse. I thought I had been past my mother's death, but I had been wrong. I never truly dealt with it. It was buried along with every other feeling. It was the Caeyrn way.

Inside the house was a large amount of dust, old holodiscs and wooden furniture, even the occasional web from a spider. The jedi shot me a sharp glance. "Wait here."

With that he was gone as if a rancor was chasing him. I did not wait long before he returned with a simple holoprojector.

"This..." He said, handing me the item. "... will answer your question."

I gave the holoprojector a glance before activating it, as it shone up in blue light the old jedi master merely stepped to the door wearing a face painted with indifference or serenity, I was not sure. The holograms made out two men, one in a cleanly cut Republic uniform; I recognized the rank, but also the face. It was years younger than what it were now. It was my father standing there, a face of steel and yet it was fractured in hopelessness.  I was startled to find out that I also recognized the one he was conversing with, the Smiling Sith or Darth Valkarn. Only this Valkarn had no yellow eyes, he looked no different from any other jedi, except for the determined expression he carried.  The hologram of Valkarn spoke. "I cannot let you put a child through that Marcus. Your own child at that! My nephew! It is barbaric!"

"What other options do I have Teren?! Tell me, because I am at a loss here!" My father responded; it was not the usual stoic man I had been used to seeing. He was broken. More notably I bit down on how he addressed Valkarn. Teren. The Smiling Sith. I did not know what was worse, that my uncle was a Sith and killed my mother or that I had never been told about Teren existing before now.

"So all this talk of defying the Caeyrns and when it really comes down to it you truly will not. You're a coward Marcus!"  Teren almost yelled; whatever calm that man had expressed before had now shattered. "Don't let your fear of what-ifs get the better of you! The jedi can protect him!"

"You don't know my family. They will stop at nothing until they find and kill him." The two stared at each other until Teren finally turned to leave. "I am leaving to tell the council, Marcus, whether you wish it or not."

The statement made my father's face fall down in a second, desperation and panic came off as bright as a star. He then picked forth his blaster and planted two fated shots in Teren's back. Biting his teeth with an expression of sorrow he answered the dying jedi. "I am sorry, Teren, my friend... But I will not let you take my son from me."

When the holorecord ended I remember having a bitter taste in my mouth, and questions coming like a waterfall. How did Teren survive? Why was my father not locked up? How come Remann even had this? The old man stared at me, and when he did it always felt like he was reading my mind. It would not surprise me if he really did. "Desperation makes a man do terrible things. I kept it secret for him; it was probably better that way. Though we never found out how Teren survived. When I found out he had, he was gone. These recordings and bad memories are all that are left of the event. Do with it as you please, I have no more use for it."

It was then a loud thud rumbled through the ground, accompanied with the sound of engines powering down. I gave the old man a look, his face was stern and even if he projected calm onto his surroundings his eyes gave off a faint worry. "Unfortunate that it should come to this."

Waving for me to follow the jedi made his way out of the house; right at that time I wished I had brought a weapon, any weapon, when I saw who greeted us. Three Sith clearly pointed out by the yellow eyes in one of them and the strange metal masks on the other, but only one ship, where was the other?  I recognized the one without a mask. Graying dead hair hanging from his skull white head, black armor covered by a robe, and lips dried and yet carved out in a hollow smile. It was the Smiling Sith, Teren, or as I knew now... Darth Valkarn. "I thought I sensed you around old man."

"It is still not too late for you. Twenty-Eight years on a road paved with good intentions, and look at you now. You are a slave to your hatred. Let go of it." Remann said clearly, walking a few steps closer to the Sith. A moment later he lowered his voice to me. "When they engage, run into the jungle."

I was displeased with that, even if I both wanted to run from the Smiling Sith and kill him. Darth Valkarn did not seem to take notice though; his attention was fixed on the jedi master. "Still with the tried and tested rhetoric? Don't you ever get tired of it?"

"Old habit." Was all the answer Valkarn got from Remann.

"Shame that you will die with such a fatal flaw." Teren responded as lightsabers flared on, and when the two sides began to charge at each other I ran for it. Towards the jungle. I did not get very far before Darth Valkarn changed direction mid-charge towards me. "Kill Remann!"

With his yell I was tossed aside by an invisible hand and sent rolling across the wet foliage. I tried to get up but Teren did not give a second of respite, again the hand swept me up, instead this time locking me firmly up against a tree. I could not move a muscle, and somewhere, perhaps subconsciously I started to panic. I looked around franticly to see any possibility of escape, but only got to see Remann strike down one of the other Sith before getting stabbed in the back himself. Teren's voice snapped me to attention though.

"I do not want to kill you, Jhared – yes, I know who you are." He added the last bit, probably from the slight surprise I felt. My face showed nothing, but jedi – dark or light – were able to sense such, I knew that much.  He stared me down a couple of seconds as he put out his lightsaber then took the holoprojector I still had in my hand. He started to look at it, seemingly that was all he did at least. For a whole minute. I started to wonder what he was doing, if anything, until he finally said something. "Psychometry. Or telemetry. Depends on where you live I suppose. The art of seeing the history of an object, the events transpired at it and the experiences the wielder may have gone through with it by use of the force."

I gave the man a confused glare, why was he berating me? And then if he knew who I was and did not want to kill me what did he want? A bargaining chip? "What do you want with me?"

"I want you to understand why I turned and why I am never truly going to be an enemy to you." Teren stated in an uncomfortably calm voice. "It was not that your father shot me in the back and left me for dead. It was that he stopped fighting, that my master stopped to fight, even my sister. Suddenly they were all too content. They could turn a blind eye on injustice that I could not. The only ones really willing to do something about your family was the Sith."

"The Sith are evil!" It blurted out of me before I even thought it through.

"Your family is evil." He retorted matter-of-factly. "They are an atrocity. A bomb of malice waiting to explode on the galaxy. They spread like a mutated disease, infesting everything they touch. Your family has to be stopped. I must destroy them for the sake of the galaxy. The deaths of a few innocents pale in the face of millions."

The contempt was thick in Teren's voice; in fact it was so thick that I slightly wondered whether or not he was thinking rationally. For all intents and purposes he came off as such; the Caeyrn Corporation was not comprised of good people. Everyone was done through a violent logic with coldhearted resolve. Most Caeyrns acted from the doctrine rather than emotion, and the doctrine was bloody, pure and utter malice. It was not enough to be bad, you had to be the worst. Everyone there was a monster in their own right, the blood of innocents ringed hollow to their ears, they only cared about how many so they could top it. It would be an almost childish display if it was not so filled with genocide.

Teren's eyebrows lowered, he seemed to think, then simply turned away from me and towards his ship. This time he had gone absolutely calm. "A word of advice, Jhared. The doctrine is like a dam holding back a river, break it without any sort of way to control the tide you unleash and you will surely grow mad. Chip it away at the top and you may be able to control the stream. I know you do not want to be this husk of a man; you are just like your father when I first met him, but unlike him, you still have a chance at redemption. I can help you to get rid of the doctrine, if you would let me."

The offer was tempting; I would be lying if I told otherwise. Even through the doctrine that blinded my reasoning and twisted and suppressed my emotions I knew I wanted to be rid of it. Somehow, if it was at all possible, it would be like forgetting how to breathe. But if you could would it be worth it to trust a Sith? And the man who killed your own mother cold blood? For a moment I thought I was going to say yes. Yet it did not matter how much he tried to justify it, to make himself seem like the righteous man in this conflict. He had done it, and he had to pay. In blood. The hatred I felt for him was creeping back to the surface. It was not something I did feel very often, but that memory set everything on fire no matter how hard I tried to push it down and bottle it up. "I will never join you. I will be the one to kill you."

Despite the rather morbid promise Darth Valkarn simply started to walk away. "My promise still stands if you should change your mind. Just seek me out."

I did not respond, instead I merely struggled to get free of his hold. No matter how foolish it was to try I did want to kill the man. When I finally did get free though the ramp to the ship of the Sith had closed. Calming myself by suppressing whatever hate and anger I felt towards Teren I made my way across the opening to Remann's body while the Sith took off. I was just about to kneel down to check on him when I noticed a slight blur in the vision in front of me. I only really got alarmed when a projectile stung into my arm.

I immediately began to feel dizzy and tremble. In no less than a couple of seconds my legs simply gave out. It was also then I got to see my attacker, or rather attackers. Black trooper-like armor coupled with the strange mixture of a metal mask and a hood-like helmet. They looked disturbingly like the Sith that had just cut down Remann, and yet I knew these were no Sith. They were the Cortosis Fist. They had been the second ship.

"We got the priority target. Another vessel just left here, shoot it down if you spot it." My attacker said in what I assumed was a com channel. I had never actually heard someone from the Fist talk before, but I had assumed it would sound just like every other Caeyrn. Very cold, absent of empathy and emotion. It was, but there was something else to this, it seemed almost synthetic. Robotic. Like it was not entirely human. "Initiate extinction protocols. Thirty-four, out."

The last command hit me like a hammer, even if I was beginning to see black spots everywhere. The Sith might have been looking to conquer this planet, but the Cortosis Fist was going to kill everyone on it. Maybe Teren had been right? Were the Sith merely the lesser of two evils?  I did not get to think on it further however. Everything simply went black.

When I woke up it was a familiar face staring back at me. Not kindly though, rather the exact opposite.

"You know the rules, Jhared. You do not leave off-world without permission." The words came dryly from my father. His hair had gone grey over the years and his body had started to grow old. Even through that he was still a dangerously looking man though. With eyes that seemed to pierce heartlessly through your soul and a face so hard a wookie would have difficulty at cracking it, he almost radiated that he was not to be crossed.

I knew he was right though. Leaving off-world without checking in with the Corporation first was punishable for one such as me, I was not really a trooper yet and thus was still bound by the rules that students at the academy were. From the restraints at my wrists, ankles and waist, peeling me to a wall I could guess my punishment. The room was like a small cell, except there was no bed, just a table with tools.

"You are making a habit of breaking them. I will ensure you do not do so again." The older man continued then lowered his voice. "It is for your own good."

"What about Remann?" I asked as my father turned to leave me to my fate.

"He is no longer any of your concern." It came promptly, not even stopping his pace. Outside of the room I could just hear him give the command: "Proceed."

A black robed, metal masked man stepped into the room. With no word he began to pick out tools from the table. Somehow I doubted the next few hours would be very pleasant and I had no idea how right I had been.