Post Here: Your Kudos and Comments to the Stories Written

[Lyrima]

Please put the name of the story in the subject line.

[Lyrima]

Dicey! I love it!  I think my favorite part overall is your use of the spiders.  When she was talking to them on the bag of sugar, I didn't expect them to be anything more.  Then the welts and searches... wow.

I love how your story hangs together; it makes sense; each chapter leading seamlessly into the other.  I love your language, too. 

I'll be honest, the idea of this child being the sister of Alanni (?) and coming to Qeynos.. Uh.. Hm!  Should be interesting, to say the least.

Keep writing! I gotta hear more.

[Lyrima]

Gorgeous from beginning to end.  Like your other story, this one..each paragraph..builds on the last to an unexpected, awesome last word.  I am envious of how you take the lore of Norrath and weave it into your stories.  Somehow you bring normalcy and an everyday feel to your stories that I can't imagine.  Of course there must be a place where monks are trained.  (or, of course there must be orphanages in Freeport)

Some of my favorite lines:

Jystana had tried, for hours to find this peace, this tranquility, but all she found was pain

The monk had left her alone with her palm and the emptiness it held, a Teir'dal statue, in the middle of an otherwise empty room.

This had not been the first time that Jystana had been left to examine that emptiness that seemed to fill both her hand and her mind

...her inability to fill her palm with anything but air forgotten until the next test.


I want to meet this monk. 

[Dicey Reilly]

Thank you Lyrima!

I'm not too sure you'd want to meet Jystana, she sort of turned her experiances in on themselves and became a rabid Innorruk follower.  She's a bruiser actually since there are no Freeportian monks.  She is calm and purpose driven, but too bad her purpose is to follow the god of hate.  There is also her troll friend that she follows around who is fond of pickling anyone he kills and eating them.

Interesting thing about her story is that it was written before the Lore for DoF started to come out, and of course SoE decided to bring back the Ashen Order in that expansion.  There is actually a place now where you can see the monks training.

I chose the Ashen Order as a nod to PoCobblepot's EQlive character that was an monk of the Ashen Order, whose story when he retired that character was that he went to Everfrost to try and teach the children of his wife's people to follow Quellious.  It seemed fitting to me that from his story would come a branch of the Ashen Order willing to try and teach all children regardless of race.  Who knew that SoE was bringing them back.


Edana may betray.  She was made to try out the necromancer class, but her story is evolving away from that.  She seems to me that she is headed to the summoner path that only Qeynos teaches.  She's got to face her father first, and it isn't going to be pretty, and then she is going to spend a few years before she leaves learning all there is to know of her family, who were not very nice people being slavers and all (again a nod to a story from EQlive, this time one of my mains).  Right now she isn't aware that she is causing the spiders to do what she wants them to do, and she isn't really in control of them.  I suppose if I really betray her depends on how she reacts to the knowledge that her vivid imagination caused others hurt, and how justified she feels it to be.  If she reacts the way that I want her to, she will betray and be contrite for the unintentional hurt.  If as I write it she doesn't, well then she may not be the nicest person to head to Qeynos, but she may still come anyway!  I just hope she doesn't embrace her father's path.

[Lyrima]

Dicey, you are a true story teller. Wow

[Lyrima]

More more more!  Amazing stuff !!

I'm glad I waited this long and read it in one fell swoop. Waiting for the chapters would make me crazy

MOOORE!

[Lyrima]

*standing ovation*

YAY! Well done

I enjoyed the alliteration too

[Lyrima]

I really like how you wove the newbie experiences and the lore of Tanvu into Jezerai's story.  I'm always so envious of how folks can do that.

It is from these types of writings that I gain an image, an idea of what these towns and areas might have been like.  And then I can start imagining the worlds of my girls. 

But I really need folks like you Alanni, to see it first. So thank you, thank you for writing it and for sharing it.

[Jasyn]

Jezerai's Tale

I am amazed at the vivid imagery in the most recent installment of this tale.  Something got in my eye while I was reading it.  A speck of dust maybe.  Yeah.  That's the ticket.

[Jezerai]

Kami!  I am loving your quest journal!  I get the feeling you are a story teller and I am a very willing audience!  Keep it up!

[Kaminari]

  Wow   Thank you! 

[Jezerai]

Wonderful story!  I really like the vividness of your writing and the use of imagery.  It makes a definate impression and I can't wait to see what happens!

[Jezerai]

Nicely done!  Thank you for this addition and I hope to see more!

[Lyrima]

Love your use of language and how you manage to convey the same people/concepts using different ways/language--something I"m always trying to do.

Loved how you gave both perspectives of the sides of the raid; your violent imagary is almost too much for me.  I was fine until the momma and her boy   I was tracking along so well in my head/images that reading that took me to the place of nightmares. Heh.

Momma of small boy here.

Even so, all the markings of an amazing author and story.  Thank you for sharing.  Please write more !

the pink wash cloth and warm breathing blankets...love it love it love it.

[Hala]

Wow, it keeps getting better with each installment!  Very much enjoyed the ending of that last one.

Everything I've read here is very good, it all motivates me think and write more to define my characters to have a background worthy of my guildmates in Saga

[Lyrima]

Yes. Wow. Nicely done.

*nod*

Really well thought out and tied up beautifully.

Almost no need to go on, except I'd love to know what happened to Remus.  Although I can imagine.

Hm.

You set a HIGH standard Aukai! Not sure how I'll tie Lyri's story up

[Lyrima]

ahh THANK you !

You remind me with your quick, well written story that length does not a good story make!

I wonder, though, how a Bear Shaman happens with no talent?  IS trying enough?  Or is this the setting of the stage for interesting escapades?

[Lyrima]

AHHHHHHHHHHHH!

You are all such GREAT writers!

Loooove the story of Khale - 'imagined he had a choice' Yes!  And the use of the trees and their meanings..did you make that up or have some source ?

Intriguing..what does he need to survive to become a Bear Shaman?

Marvelous writing and story!

[Hala]

I'm actually using Ogham lore for the meanings for trees, and the style in which he attempts to fortell the future.  As far as what it takes to be a Bear Shaman I think he has been chosen by the spirits of his clan to become one, he has been taught some things, but still has a ways to go to truely awaken the power within him. 

I'm working on the next portion, I'll try to get in up today

[Lyrima]

Hhahahaha I love the glimpses into the insanity you cook up in your adventures...!

I can only imagine the conversation about the fae wings 

I'm looking forward to hearing more about Jez, the long lost daughter of the worlds greatest bard. ever. heehee