brother spam: Cat and Dog Diaries

[Lyrima]

Dog's diary.
7 a.m. Oh, boy! A walk! My favorite!
8 a.m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 a.m. Oh, boy! Kids! My favorite!
10 a.m. Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!
Noon Oh, boy! A nap! My favorite!
2 p.m. Oh, boy! A car ride! My favorite!
3 p.m. Oh, boy! The kids! My favorite!
4 p.m. Oh, boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6 p.m. Oh, boy! Welcome home Mom! My favorite!
7 p.m. Oh, boy! Welcome home Dad! My favorite!
8 p.m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 p.m. Oh, boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favorite!
11 p.m. Oh, boy! Sleeping on my people's bed! My favorite!




Cat's diary:

Day 183 of my captivity...My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre
dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat while I am forced to eat dry
cereal.

The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape & the mild
satisfaction of clawing their furniture.

Tomorrow I will eat another house plant.

Today, my attempt to kill them by weaving around their feet almost
succeeded...Tomorrow I must try this at the top of the stairs.

In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again
induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair. I must remember to do
this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to
show them what I am capable of, and to strike fear in their hearts. They
only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was.
Hmmm,  that did not work according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed
in solitary during the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the
food. More important, I overheard that my confinement was due to my
ability to produce "allergies" Must learn more about this.

I am convinced my other captives are flunkies and possibly spies. The dog
is routinely released and seems happy to return. He is obviously a
half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant and
speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports on my every move. Due
to his placement in a metal room, he is safe from me for now. But I can
wait; it is only a matter of time...

[Alwynn]

It's a fact that if you die in your house a housecat will eat your face off.

[Bindi]

 

So true, so true!

The cat/dog part...not what the Beek said...