Jezerai's Tale 2

[Jezerai]

Jezerai arrived home tired, but happy to be away from Kojan. Her house was waiting for her, snug enough, but empty. She'd need to get after Scantlie, Hattie, and the others if she was to have any furnishings. She sighed. It was probably about time she settled to earn a real living. Perhaps woodworking. She'd have to think about it.

Her only complaint was that, since returning to the solitude of her home, she could get no rest. The clamoring of the spirits hovering around her continued to assault her already fragile senses. Her dreams of the barren wasteland in which she wandered alone continued, unabated. When she was alone the spirits were much braver and would follow her about, grabbing at her clothes and hair. She found herself jumping at shadows, her eyes hollow with a bruised appearance. She had thought to ask one of her friends to stay with her, but that could lead to questions and she did not want them to know what was happening to her.

This reminded her of her worries about Samaal. He had wanted to meet with her to discuss their future. She was unsure of what kind of future they could possibly have. Even though she believed he had forgiven her for the death of his wife and she had forgiven him for what he had done to her, she did not see how they could ever truly set those things aside. Yet her heart ached for the sight of him, to hear the sound of his laughter, and to see the crinkle at the corner of his eyes when he smiled. Truly, she did not know what to do and the indecision made all so much more complicated. For now, she would continue to try to keep him at arm's length until she could decide what course she should steer.

Jezerai felt the slow niggle at the back of her mind, turning her thoughts to the temporary oblivion that Starspark Red could give her.  She could resist it for now, but she knew from experience that the niggle would continue to grow, until it was a roar that drowned out all other voices.  Jezerai sighed unhappily and went to her bureau, taking a small flask of the red colored liquid out of her drawer.  Carefully she measured out a small amount of the drug and took it, waiting for the euphoria that she knew would come soon to soothe her worries.  She then hid the vial back in her clothing where her friends would not find  it.  Another secret. 

[Jezerai]

Jezerai entered her home, having driven herself to exhaustion during the day once again, in an effort to keep her private demons at bay.  She rode Salome hard, throwing herself into battle with a fervor that was a bit excessive, even for her.  And while she felt that her understanding and skills were growing as a result of all of this activity, she worried that her achievements did little to help her in her personal life. 

Jezerai gently shut the door.  It was the night that all of her friends would be meeting for a bit of fellowship and she would normally love to attend, but she just could not bring herself to go.  She sat in front of her small fireplace, holding hands that felt like ice before the fire.  Staring into the flames, she could hear the first faint rustling that signaled the return of the ghosts.  Jezerai shuddered and tried to resist looking, but could not help glancing out of the corner of her eye.  She spied the thin vaporous features of a ghostly face pressing up to hers and let out a small scream of fearful surprise.  Her hands shook as she ate her dinner, and she stared steadfastly into the fire, resisting any further urges to look around her small living room.  She thought about the flask of Starspark Red in her chest in her room with both disgust and longing.  It was a siren's call.  Jezerai told herself that tonight she would not succumb to that call.  Tonight she would go to bed without the drug.  But she knew it was a losing battle and it would be a strong showing of will if she were to resist the pull of the drug for another couple of hours.

At first the knock at the door was lost in the general rustling and her refusal to acknowledge any sounds around her, but eventually the sound penetrated the relentless fog that she clouded her mind with.  Her first reaction was to ignore the persistent intrusion into her own private hell, but the ghosts retreated from the noise and their reaction drove Jezerai, finally, to her feet.  She answered the door with barely suppressed irritation at the interruption.  The tall barbarian girl who she had met while they were both members of Saga stood at the door.  Her long, red braids framed a face tattooed with the markings of her tribe.  Jezerai immediately recognized  Boudeccai Boru, the shamaness from Halgarad.  Boudeccai's bear companion stood slightly behind her and growled softly, sniffing at the room behind the front door.  The ghosts all but vanished and a weight was lifted from Jezerai's mind.  Her visitor looked at her forthrightly.

"May I come in?  I do think you and me be needin' ta talk."  At Jezerai's nod, the woman started to enter, beckoning to the bear to wait outside.

"No, no," Jezerai said, "he may come in as well."  Boudeccai smiled sympathetically and came in with her bear.

Boudeccai settled herself in front of the fire, the bear pacing anxiously around the room, growling softly as it came to the door leading to Jezerai's upstairs bedroom.  Jezerai set a mug of ale down before her visitor.  She had always thought the shamaness a bit odd and perhaps mentally unbalanced.  Though she spoke calmly enough, she said the most outrageous things and, of course, running around wearing shrunken heads was not exactly normal behavior.  But then Boudeccai had given her a bit of advise about finding her mother's family.  That cryptic clue had changed Jezerai's opinion of the girl, at least a bit.  And so, Jezerai waited a bit anxiously while the shamaness took her time sipping her ale before speaking.  "I've come to talk to ye about yer ghosts." she said with a typical matter of fact air, oblivious to Jezerai's gape of astonishment.

[Jezerai]

Jezerai took the small vial of red liquid out of her box of mementoes, a place she believed it would remain safe from discovery. Staring at vial's contents with distaste, Jezerai willed herself to return the drug to its hiding place untasted. She could feel the siren's call of the Starspark Red pulling at her very soul and felt, not for the first time, that her addiction to the drug was a sentient being, conniving and manipulating her into satisfying its needs. The rustling ghosts in the room with her pressed on her awareness, urging her to seek the oblivion to be found in the drug. The noise reminded her of Boudeccai's visit and the strange gift she had left behind.

Jezerai was not sure if it was better or worse to believe, as Boudeccai had told her, that the ghosts were real and not figments of an increasingly deranged imagination. Jezerai swirled the contents of the vial around, the tug still there, but temporarily abated as she considered the shaman's advice.

The shaman, for all her odd behaviors and rustic appearance, had not appeared out of place in the slightest in Jezerai's home as she sat on a pillow, earnestly staring into Jezerai's face. "Grumbles and Leto tole me to come to ye. When ye take tha drug," and Boudeccai's eyes had bored into hers, making Jezerai wonder what the red-headed girl could see, "ye open tha door 'tween tha living world and tha world ah tha dead. Worse, ye be callin' 'em to ye and they be feedin' off tha energy yer jin provides. Some be growin' bolder and more solid. Soon these will be able to cross fully ta this world." Boudeccai had placed a rough hand on Jezerai's arm. "Only ye can send 'em away and close tha door. It ain't jes a matter ah stoppin' the Starspark Red. The dead got their foot in the door now. But ye gotta discover why ye  callin' 'em and send 'em away while ye have the strength to do it. Leto has tole me to let 'im stay with ye.  He can look over ye and advise ye, if ye lets 'im. He can give ye some protection from the ghosts and watch over ye as you sleep." Boudeccai had removed one of the leather thongs from around her neck with a leather bag suspended from it and handed the relic to Jezerai. Jezerai knew that the bag contained the shrunken head of Leto, the master of Grumbles who had been Boudeccai's teacher. Grumbles' shrunken head remained in its bag around Boudeccai's neck. Jezerai had intended to refuse, but Boudeccai pressed the necklace into her hand. "Wear it, Jezerai, to keep Leto close. He will help ye find the way, if ye onla let 'im do it."

With Boudeccai gone, Jezerai had dropped the bag next to her box, intending to leave it there. Jezerai took a small sip of the Starspark Red and sat on her bed, waiting for the oblivion that would soon claim her. As she waited, she stared at the leather thong and bag sitting by her wooden box. Experimentally, she picked it up, testing its weight. The bag was heavy enough to be noticeable, but not so heavy that it would be uncomfortable if worn. The leather bag was about the size of a woman's fist. It would be noticeable if she wore it, though perhaps it would blend in with her leather armor. Jezerai noticed that the ghosts hung back, as though uneasy around the bag. Their reaction decided her and Jezerai placed the thong around her neck, feeling the weight of the bag as it thumped against her chest. Jezerai waited for a moment, unsure what to expect, and shrugged when nothing happened.

A stray thought seemed to wander through her mind "First, we must get you off of this drug." Jezerai giggled a bit. The voice seemed masculine and stern. It reminded her of the monks during the time she had spent there. "Never mind, child" the voice continued "You might as well sleep. I will ward you."

Jezerai yawned, fully under the spell of the Starspark Red now, and closed her eyes. She quickly drifted to sleep and found herself, as she always did when she dreamt, in the bleak and desolate landscape populated only by her tormentors. But this time they stayed well back, leaving her in a cleared area. The respite was welcome and Jezerai glanced down to find the silvery, transparent form of a wolf by her side. Small tendrils of green life poked out of the grey and seemingly lifeless soil beneath the wolf's feet. The wolf growled slightly and the ghosts retreated further. Jezerai smiled in wonder at her protector, allowing her hand to gently brush the creature's back. The wolf looked up at her, his tongue lolling between his teeth. The creature's eyes were dark brown and strangely human in appearance. "Sleep, child." The wolf said. And Jezerai obeyed, sleeping a dreamless sleep for the first time since her ordeal had begun.

[Jezerai]

Samaal stood outside of Jezerai's home uncertainly. He had felt drawn here, though Jez had refused to talk to him since her return. It was late, the moon was past its zenith, but he was unable to sleep. He could not say why he had come, but his thoughts had turned to her once again and he had been unable to resist. He sighed, wishing, as he had so many times, that he could take back the past and relive it. But life didn't work that way and now he could only move forward and hope that either Jezerai would relent or he would be able to move on and forget this impossible love.

Standing there, Samaal noticed that there was a thin slip of light showing, where there should be none. Concerned, he investigated, only to find the door ajar allowing the light inside to spill out into the night. Samaal gently pushed the door, peering inside but could see nothing out of place. Hesitantly, he called but there was no response. Knowing from their nights aboard the boat that Jezerai tended to be a light sleeper, his alarm grew when there was no response to his calls. His heart thudding, afraid that he would find the remaining assassins had come for her, he raced up the stairs.

There was no noise, but the bedroom door stood open and he could see Jezerai lying on her bed. She lay sprawled across the bed, still wearing her leathers. Samaal called again, his alarm not eased by the sight of her, she lay so still and unlike herself. Still she did not awaken, and Samaal hurried to her side, heedless of the fact that he had no invitation into her bedroom or home. What he found filled him with horror, more surely than any number of assassins. A half full vial of what could only be Starspark Red sat by her bed on a small table. He had no way of knowing how much she had taken. When shaking her failed to rouse her to more than mumbling incoherence, he held her limp and unresponsive body in his arms trying to think of what to do. He brushed a lank lock of silvery-blonde hair off her forehead with a trembling finger, alarmed at her pallor. "Oh Jez," he murmured, "what have you done to yourself." Gently he kissed her forehead. It was time to seek assistance for his love, no matter what she thought. He struck out for Lothiriel's home nearby, heedless of the hour, determined only to bring the help she needed as soon as help could be found.

A vaporous wolf appeared by Jezerai's bed, tongue lolling out of his mouth in a doggish laugh, well-pleased with his work this evening and slowly faded out as he returned to patrol Jezerai's sleeping mind and keep her safe from intruders.

[Jezerai]

Lothiriel opened her front door, peering out into the dark at the tall ranger frantically pounding and yelling for her to come down. She held her robe closed tightly over her nightclothes, her lovely golden hair disheveled and her eyes blurry with sleep. By the position of the moon, she estimated it was the early hours of the morning.

"What the ..." she just managed to start, when Samaal interrupted her.

"Please!" he interjected, with more than a little urgency. "Please come! It's Jez." Lothiriel opened the door, beckoning the ranger to enter. Samaal told her all that happened that evening, the state he'd found Jezerai in, and his suspicions about the vial by the bed while Lothiriel changed in the other room. When she came out, her normally serene countenance was strained and worry darkened her eyes. Lothiriel did not dally and soon Samaal was leading her to Jezerai's home nearby.

Jezerai lay, pale and still on her bed. A thready pulse jumping in her throat was the only sign of life. The vial of Starspark Red sat where Samaal had found it, beside her bed. Lothiriel frowned when she saw the evidence of her friend's addiction. She did not know whether to rage at the young woman and slap her to bring her to her senses, or to hold her close in relief that she lived. None of this inner turmoil marred her serene face or translated itself to her movements, as she gently took Jezerai's hand, feeling her pulse and pushing hair off of her forehead.

Lothiriel wondered how this had happened. In retrospect, she realized that while Jezerai had hunted with them on a number of occasions, she had been around less frequently than before. She had seemed unusually flustered and jumpy, and the dark circles under her eyes spoke of sleepless nights.  At the time, Lothiriel had thought these were symptoms of problems with love and had left Jezerai to sort it out or bring it up in her own time.  Lothiriel sighed. Jezerai was not prone to talking about her problems and her efforts to be self-reliant made it difficult for her friends to help. 

She gave Samaal a number of instructions, and he hurried off to obey, relieved to have something to do to help resolve this horrible situation. Lothiriel took the opportunity while Samaal was gone to change her friend out of her armor and into one of her silk robes. She was alarmed to see that Jezerai appeared to have lost a significant amount of weight. The normally lean disciple was now little heavier than a child. Her ribs clearly showed. Lothiriel's lips tightened and she checked Jezerai's eyes, which reacted normally to the presence of light. Lothiriel was relieved that Jezerai was in no danger of dying. Lothiriel sent a small tendril of healing energy to assist Jezerai to transition to a more normal sleep from her current drugged stupor. Having done what she could for Jezerai for the time being, she settled to wait for her friend to wake and give her some answers.

[Jezerai]

Jezerai regretted few things in her life. Even the worst decisions she had made had been borne of the necessities of the time. While each of these choices had shaped her life, and not all in good ways, she was satisfied that for the most part she had done the best she could with what she had at hand. The only exception to this had been her work as an assassin for the Emporer. She realized that, at the time she had been trained and sent into the field, she had been little more than a child. She realized and accepted that the responsibility for her actions was shared with the superiors who sent her on missions and who created Jezerai Moon, the assassin. But none of those rationalizations excused, in her own estimate, her culpability for the atrocities she had committed.

Among her most bitter regrets was to see the look of worry and pain on the faces of Lothiriel and Samaal and to know that she had been the cause. Jezerai had been unable to raise her eyes to Lothiriel's face, so deep was her shame at her actions. She had haltingly confessed that she had been using Starspark Red nightly since her return from Kojan. She told Lothiriel and Samaal of the spirits and her fear that she had lost her sanity. She did not know if they could understand the drain she had experienced on her physical, mental and emotional resources to battle these forces, and her own self-doubt, during both her waking and sleeping hours. She had turned to the drug seeking escape and a few hours of oblivion. It was not an excuse and Jezerai berated herself for the weakness that led her to this path. As hard as this meeting was, how hard would other meetings and other confessions be? The one she dreaded most was to tell Kromb. Kromb, her most staunch friend and the rock on which she unconsciously depended. How was she to tell him of her weakness? She did not know if the dreadknight, so strong in his own internal code, could understand and forgive her for failing this test.

She set aside, for now, her worry about Kromb's reaction to this news of her latest mishap. Her more immediate concern was to discover what she was to do now about the spirits. She felt the comforting bump of a wolf nose in her hand and looked down to see Leto sitting at her side. The wolf was transparent, but for his eyes which gazed steadily up at her. A small voice, which she was coming to recognize as the wolf's whispered at the back of her mind, urging her to tell these friends of the task given to her by Boudeccai. Jezerai complied, relating all that she could recall of her meeting with Boudeccai and the shamaness' insistence that the ghosts were, in fact, real spirits of malicious intent drawn to her by her jin and given the power to reach her by the Starspark Red. She had to discover how to defeat them, drive them away, and close the door to them before the strongest of them gained the ability to cross back into life.

Jezerai hoped that she could leave the drug alone and overcome her dependence on it, but even now reflecting on the harm the drug had caused not only her, but her friends who were dearer to her than her own life, she craved it. The vial, held securely in Lothiriel's hand, seemed to beckon to her. "Here," it whispered, "here I am." The promises of bliss, abandonment of her responsibilities, and forgetfulness, false though they were, seemed very sweet.

[Jezerai]

Jezerai slept, the first time in weeks that she had gone to bed without Starspark Red.

Earlier in the evening she had attempted to go to the tavern to visit old friends. The Festival of Gloriann decorations were beautiful. The holiday meant little to Jezerai as she was growing up, and she had never celebrated it herself. But she had to acknowledge that the cheerful interior of the guildhouse brightened one's day. But then, Lothi had a special knack for that sort of thing. One that Jezerai could admire but never hope to emulate.

But she was jittery and the presence of so much activity and noise wore at her poise. She had made her excuses to Lothiriel and headed home. Once in the confines of her room, Jezerai opened the drawer of her clothes cabinet and pulled out the vial of Starspark Red she had hidden there. Staring at the brightly colored liquid as she swirled the contents about, Jezerai considered the possibility of taking the drug. But the healing Lothiriel had given her had lessened the drug's hold over her. She wanted it, wanted it badly, but could resist ... could resist. It was a struggle, but Jezerai threw the vial out of the window, watching with a certain satisfaction as it smashed against the flagstones below.

Having destroyed, at least for tonight, her chances of succumbing to the drug, Jezerai sat on her bed her thoughts taking a morose turn. She had no one of her own kin to celebrate this, or any, holiday season with. Her mother's family had made it clear they wanted no part of her. She wondered what her father, whoever and wherever he was, might think if she were to turn up on his doorstep. Jezerai laughed bitterly. "Oh yes," she thought "his long-lost half-blood drug-addled daughter! I'm sure he'd be thrilled." Jezerai opened her box of mementoes and took out the ring. It was heavy, a man's ring, with a large red stone inset. The stone was cut in the shape of a crest and there was a motto, etched below in elvish. Ornately drawn beasts flanked the center stone one, a unicorn, the symbol of purity, the other a lion, symbol of fierceness in battle. It occurred to Jezerai that she had seen family crests like this, particularly among higher ranked or wealthy families. If the ring were not stolen, perhaps she could use it to trace her father. These thoughts, occupied Jezerai's mind until she slept.

Jezerai dreamt that she sat under a pale, silvery tree with stark leafless branches reaching up to grasp the moon, like a miser grasping his gold. The sky glowed with a baleful reddish tint. The ground beneath Jezerai was higher up, and she realized she sat on a hill. By her sat the wolf, Ledo. The press of spirits was far below her, around the base of the hill. The spirits tried to climb the hill, but slid down it's steep sides. Jezerai shuddered, looking down at her tormentors and the wolf licked her face comfortingly. Jezerai wrapped her arms around the ghostly beast's neck and poured her fear and grief in his insubstantial ruff

"There, there pup." The wolf whispered, nuzzling her. "You are stronger than you think. It took much courage to throw the last of the drug away. And I will be here to help you with the night attacks. Do not grieve pup."

"It is no use." Jezerai murmured bitterly. "I might as well take the drug. I cannot face my friends and I have nothing and no one to live for."

The wolf's voice turned stern. "None of that now! You are not to feel sorry for yourself. No doubt most of your pack will understand and accept you, regardless of this mistake. One wonders that you would doubt your friends, who have already done so much on your behalf." The wolf licked Jezerai's face, his gentle actions at odds with his manner.

Jezerai lifted her face to the wolf's, noting the warm brown eyes meeting hers. "What am I to do? How to stop this?"

Ledo took Jezerai to the edge, pointing down. Jezerai noticed that a few of the ghosts were beginning to look more solid. Ledo sat beside her. "The ghosts are feeding off of your jin. Who could know better about jin than the monks in Kojan?"

Jezerai nodded thoughtfully. It was possible that the monks could help her. It was a start, anyway. Jezerai woke from the dream with new vigor. She wrote a note for Lothiriel and the others, happy to have action to take and even happier that that action would take her away for awhile. Time to prepare for the ultimate reactions, and possible rejections, when she returned. Meanwhile, perhaps the answer to her problems could be found in Kojan.

[Jezerai]

The blue sea and the roll of the boat beneath her feet were joys Jezerai had forgotten in the long weeks of her captivity and since.  She stood at the wheel, letting the wind blow her hair off her face, imagining that it also blew all trace of that time from her mind.  A shadow of Jezerai's old carefree self re-emerged and she laughed, feeling renewed by the salt air and sound of sea birds. 

She kept her craving for the Starspark Red at bay with her own purification spells, though those were not as effective on herself as Lothiriel's healing had been.  She wondered why this would be so, and decided that it was likely because a portion of her inner self did not want purification and was perfectly happy being under the sway of the drug.  Jezerai reaffirmed to herself every day that she did not want this weak side of her character to ever gain dominance over her again.  Her relationship with Ledo helped her get through her weak moments and she did not know how she would have gotten through this time without him.

The ghost wolf was with her every night.  Sometimes the two of them just sat in companionable silence, sometimes they talked of inconsequential things, and sometimes, when times were bad, he offered encouragement, support, and love.  Jezerai knew that she would never voluntarily return Ledo to Boudeccai and the weight of his head, laying against her chest, had become a dear burden.   If he were to tell her that he wanted to return, she would be lost.  Jezerai feared to ask him, thinking that if she did he would tell her that he did indeed wish to leave her.  While she slept, the wolf held off the spirits and, though the clamored around the outer edges of her consciousness, she could ignore them. 

It was a stronger, healthier Jezerai that docked in Kojan a few days later. 

[Jezerai]

The monastery was as peaceful as Jezerai remembered.  The low hum of activity as the monks went about their daily tasks was broken only by the lowing of cattle and buzz of insects going about theirs.  As a young woman, Jezerai had found this peace to be stultifying.  Now, emotionally bruised and battered and weary beyond belief, she soaked up the air of this place and felt rejuvenated in mind and spirit.  Her former teacher, Sing Hai, was still there and as vigorous as she remembered from her days here, though he looked ancient beyond belief.  He listened attentively as they discussed the troubles bringing Jezerai to the monastery.

"All of life," he remarked when the story had drawn to a close, "is fed by the inner spirit of living things.  We who use jin are able to draw on this spirit to accomplish many things.  This is the basic teaching that you learned while here."  The wizened man smiled up into Jezerai's eyes.  "You were too young and impatient then to stay and learn more.  And so you left before you could be fully taught."  Jezerai hung her head and started to apologize, but was interrupted by Sing Hai.  "None of that, child."  He said with a smile.  "We are all young and impatient at one point in our lives.  The important thing is that now you are here, and I sense your spirit is more receptive to our teachings?"  The old man smiled with satisfaction at Jezerai's answering nod.  "It is my hope that in understanding jin better, you will understand what forces are feeding the spirits that haunt you."

And so Jezerai returned to the life of a student monk, living in the sparcely furnished room that was provided to her and eating the simple fare that was set before her.  The better part of her days were spent with teachers, practicing her martial arts, and in meditation.  The types of activities that just a decade before drove her to distraction today gave her a sense of peace.  Although she was not as able to get away to visit home as she would have liked, her evenings with Ledo kept her from feeling lonely.  The wolf sometimes was able to manifest his presence during her waking hours, but she sensed that this was very difficult for him to do, at least as a reasoning being.  Still, she would occasionally feel a slight nudge on her inner thoughts that she recognized as other.  She learned to look for and value these nudges because she found the gentle push was usually setting her feet back on the path she had set for herself.  But at night, while she dreamt, Jezerai and Ledo were able to spend long hours absorbed in conversation.  Ledo always assumed his wolf form during these meetings, which he explained had been his totem spirit in life. 

As Jezerai learned more about jin and how it worked, she began to see a way to solve the problem of the spirits, which were growing more clamorous.  The boldest would slink around the edges of her awareness, darting in and at times Ledo grew thin with the effort of keeping them at bay.  But her plan would not be easy and involved a great deal of risk.  Still ... it might work.

[Jezerai]

"But how do spirits here differ from those in the waking world?"  Jezerai needed to understand how the spirit world worked if she were to evaluate the likely effectiveness of the plan that was taking shape in her mind.

Ledo lay next to the woman, offering his stomach to be scratched.  Jezerai obliged, though their touch was ephemeral.  At the question, the wolf stood up and shook himself.  "It is easier here to maintain an intellect.  In the waking world, these things take energy.  That is why most of the undead you run across in Telon are mindless things, for all their malevolence.  It is why I only rarely appear in your waking life.  Even a few moments there are very draining."

"Is that why the spirits seek jin, do you suppose?  For the energy to hold themselves intact in the waking world?" Jezerai tossed a pebble laying next to her on the ground.

"It is hard to say, but that makes sense.  I do not know why they would want to cross, but if they did they would need sufficient energy to maintain their intelligence on the other side.  Even so, it would not be true life without an extraordinary amount of power."

Jezerai studied the wolf and wondered what Ledo had looked like in life.  She knew he had been a barbarian shaman, but could hardly imagine him in the form of a man.  "Why do you not take jin and return to the waking world, Ledo?"

The wolf let out a sharp bark.  "Lord forbid!  Why should I desire such a thing?  One life is more than enough, my dear.  More than enough.  I did choose to remain attached to the living realm through the piece of flesh you now wear around your neck.  Most who do stay, do so to continue training an apprentice.  That is why I elected to remain bound.  When Grumbles passed on, and in turn elected to remain bound to continue Boudeccai's training, there was really little place for me.  I would ordinarily have sought release and been granted it, but I sensed that there may yet be work for me to do.  Soon, I hope, I will be able to slip into true death and take a well earned sleep."

Jezerai frowned, saddened by the thought of losing Ledo and equally saddened by the thought that he felt bound here against his true desire.  The wolf licked her face, his touch the merest breath of a breeze against her skin.  "Do not frown so, child.  It is rarely granted to one to find a new student after death.  I enjoy our time together but will not tarry when it is time for me to leave."

Jezerai fell silent, lost in thought for a moment.  "So spirits here rely on energy as well, though in smaller amounts?"  At the wolf's nod, Jezerai teased the idea out further, twirling a dry piece of grass between her fingers while her mind raced.  "What happens to a spirit here if it's energy is taken?"

Ledo considered for a moment.  "They wink out of existence here and go to the next tier in this land of the damned.  No one really knows what awaits us there."

"They leave here, though?"  A slow smile crossed Jezerai's face.

[Jezerai]

Jezerai had spent the day in meditation, fortifying herself for the battle ahead.  Now, standing once again on the hillside in her dreams, with Ledo by her side, she wondered if her plan could work.  It seemed sketchy at best and she worried that she was missing something important.  The wolf seemed confident though, sitting with his tongue lolling out of his mouth in a doggish grin, his brown eyes never leaving the base of the hill where the spirits gathered. 

It was hard to tell numbers when their foe were nearly transparent and tended to blur together, their forms overlapping, but Jezerai believed there were nearly a dozen waiting.  Some were stronger than others and she hoped that the lesser ones would disperse when their stronger brethren went down.  Still, she was ready to do what she had to in order to banish them all. 

She nodded to Ledo, who stood and shook himself.  His job was to let the spirits through one or two at a time so that she did not get overwhelmed.  Jezerai waited at the top of the small rise while the first to be attacked came towards her.  She reached out tentatively and grabbed hold of the force she sensed within the spirit.  The first tug did nothing, but then the whole came loose and rebounded toward her, slamming into her own jin.  She scowled.  The power that came from the dead was tainted and left a bitter metallic taste on her psyche.  But, as she suspected, the stolen jin was not firmly rooted in the spirit, which grew thin and winked out of existence when it was deprived of the power animating it.  She smiled at Ledo and walled off the tainted jin with a barrier made up of her will and powered by her own untainted jin.  "That was not so difficult!"  Jezerai grinned, a touch of her old joking self returning.

"That one was not so strong," the wolf cautioned, but an optimistic light gleamed in his eyes as well.  Ledo turned his attention back to the milling ghosts at the base of the hill and another, more solid specter started toward them.  Again, Jezerai reached out and took hold of the other's power, trying to tug it free.  This time it was more difficult, the ghost able to fight back and Jezerai had a moment of worry before the leash snapped and the tainted jin rebounded to her, slapping into her subconcious with enough force to knock her back a step or two.  She could feel the taint spread in her mind's eye before she was able to cocoon it away with that from the first foe to fall.  Again, the spirit vanished and Jezerai was elated to see the numbers decrease, not paying attention to the strain against the walled off area of her power where the tainted jin lay.

Similarly the next few spirits were allowed to come up the hill, only to drop about half the way up.  The reservoir of tainted jin in Jezerai's mind built up, but she was determined to see this thing through.  Ledo raised a questioning brow at the strain on Jezerai's face, but she shook off his concern and nodded for him to continue.  This time, a nearly solid phantom headed up the slope.  Jezerai braced herself for the upcoming battle.  As she suspected, the ghost put up quite a battle but ultimately she prevailed.  When the tainted jin came undone with a snap, Jezerai fell to her knees, struggling for several seconds to contain the coiling, writhing power within the dam created in her mind.

Ledo watched with concern.  "We need to figure out a way to get rid of the power that you are siphoning off of these ghosts.  It is building up too much pressure."

Jezerai gave a grim shake of her head.  "I did not think it would be like this.  It is uncomfortable, but I don't think it will be a problem."  She motioned down the hill where it was obvious that the remaining numbers were dwindling.  There were only a couple of the more solid ones remaining, the others having melted away.  Jezerai motioned for Ledo to go on.  The wolf stared at her for several seconds in a battle of wills, but when she did not concede, he sighed in resignation and let another through.  This time, when he weakened the wall holding the spirits at bay, the two strongest remaining rushed the breach to come through together.

"Prepare yourself," he shouted.  Jezerai sent two arms of her own jin out to meet the approaching undead, grabbing hold of their power in an effort to wrest it loose.  After a brief, but intense, struggle the tainted jin came free and rebounded.  The force hit Jezerai with a punch, slamming into the inner wall damming up the remaining tainted jin.  Jezerai wavered, battling for control within her own mind. 

Ledo, sensing what was happening, joined his spirit with Jezerai's but the black mess that was collected there was of enormous power and threatened to taint all of Jezerai's jin.  In a desperate effort to save his pupil, Ledo absorbed the tainted jin into his own being.  In his haste, he also siphoned off a large amount of untainted jin.  As Jezerai fell to the ground unconscious, Ledo's form grew first more brilliant until he imploded and with a pop, disappeared.

[Jezerai]

Jezerai made her goodbyes to her teachers. She had learned a lot during her weeks with the monks and regretted the need to leave. Although she realized there was much more to learn, and even toyed with the idea of returning here one day, she was not ready to spend the rest of her days in contemplation. Whatever else had been accomplished, her stay here among the gentle sounds and teachings of the monks had restored a large measure of her love for her homeland.

But her sorrow at leaving this place paled in comparison to other sorrows. It had been three days since the battle. When she had woken the morning after the battle, the first thing she realized was that she had slept an ordinary sleep and had had an ordinary dream. The second thing she realized was that Ledo was gone. The pouch around her neck held only dust. Her initial panic at his absence had given way to a paralyzing grief. Jezerai missed the feel of his touch in her mind, nudging her along the correct path. Even more, she missed their nightly conversations, during which she had learned the quality of his soul.  He had filled those horrible hours in the land of the dead with laughter, wisdom, and consolation when it was needed.  He would be sorely missed.  Still, her sorrow was eased a bit by the knowledge that Ledo had been ready for death and had only stayed as long as he had out of a sense of duty.

And so, as Jezerai set sail back for Qalia and home, she found that she was not quite ready to return to the bustle of life there. Her thoughts turned to the little cove where she had spent so many happy hours before things turned so sour. At the thought of her refuge, her mood lightened considerable, and she turned her boat to a south-easterly heading